Big Country concert in Tampa, Florida with Jess and Jen. March 1984.
Back to the diary entries
When I had a free minute after either working or seeing INXS over the previous two weeks, I wrote in my diary about my life. Bob was a guy who went to the University of Pennsylvania. It’s funny because I met him while riding on a bus in New York City when I was a freshman. He was talking to friends about a mural, and it sounded like the mural in my dorm, so I asked him if he was from Penn. It turned out that he lived on the floor that had the mural in the hall-one floor above me.
In the two weeks from June 27, 1984, to July 10, 1984, I saw INXS five times and waitressed during eight of the other nine days. That’s why I was so tired.
A calendar from 1984 in case you want to see what day it was.
7/10/84
I’m so tired. I wasn’t supposed to work today but now I’m doing double shift. I got a letter from Bob. He sort of invited me to see Elvis Costello. Bob is a real pain because he likes me so much and I don’t like him the same way.
Here is video from 1979 of a favorite Elvis Costello song of mine. Oliver’s Army. Warning: the lyrics contain the N-word. Not meant in any kind of racist way. It’s unfortunate that it was used as a descriptive term for soldiers in the song.
7/12/84
I hit four numbers in the Lotto tonight. I don’t know how much I’ve won yet, but I could use any money I can get.
7/14/84
I won $139 in the lottery. That will practically pay for my airfare to Florida. I’ll be glad to get away. I got a letter from Joyce today. She is sicker than I thought. She thought I was about seventeen. I do not take that as a compliment. She wants me to send her any addresses or phone numbers of the band that I might have. She must be kidding. I hate doing laundry every day, but I don’t know where Mom put the other uniform.
Note: Joyce was the girl who shared her seat with me at the INXS concert on July 2nd. Read about it here. We were planning to fly to St. Petersburg, Florida on People Express which cost $79 each way.
Video about People Express Airlines
Wikipedia article about the novel 1980s airline People Express
It was hot as hell in my room last night. I’ve been having weird dreams lately. Last night I was working lunch at the Emerson Hotel while at the same time I was watching All My Children. INXS came on the show and were doing Johnson’s Aeroplane. In the meantime, the place got very busy, and I was stuck. Then someone walked out without paying the check. Later on, I was sitting outside, and two girls wanted to know what TV show I had been on.
In my dream the other day, Terri and I followed the bus into a wooded area, and she went up the road to look. I was listening to the Walkman and chewing gum. Timmy came out dressed in the black and white striped shirt from I Send a Message. I couldn’t talk to him because I was choking on my gum but spit it out when Terri came down.
In Florida we will stay at the Bayfront Concourse on Tuesday night. On July 31 they will be at the Beacon Theater and then I might go to Canada for three days August 2, 3, and 4. I’m not scheduled to work until the 5th, so it is possible. By the time I catch up with Phila, there will be much more to write. This is definitely crazy.
I don’t think I should buy any more clothes for a while. I may also call up Laura R and schedule some hours during move-in so I can get some money sooner. I’ll probably work so much during first semester that I’ll run out of my grant.
What was I talking about?
There wasn’t any air conditioning in my bedroom. It wasn’t nearly as hot then as it is now in northern New Jersey in the summer but usually it got up as high as 85 degrees Fahrenheit during the day. On very hot days the temperature reached 90 degrees. My sleep suffered because my room was uncomfortably hot. Our house had a couple of window air-conditioners but not one in my room. My very small room had two windows which I kept open, and it would be cool enough to sleep okay around 4am.
All My Children was a daytime drama, also known as a soap opera, that was on Channel 7 which was the ABC network in New York City. I started watching the show in the summer of 1975 when I was ten years old. It was one of my favorite TV shows and I watched it as often as I could until it was cancelled in 2011. So, for 36 years. The show taught me a lot.
An All My Children episode from 2/20/1989
Here’s a video of INXS performing Johnson’s Aeroplane live in 1985. Michael messed up the lyrics. Andrew wrote the music and lyrics to that song and Michael seemed to have an even harder time remembering the lyrics if someone else wrote them.
I don’t have a document that shows how much money was allotted for my work study grant. The work study program is a financial aid program for needy students. They can get an approved work study job and then work and get paid up to the amount that was awarded in their financial aid package.
There was plenty of work in the dorms (where I had worked during my sophomore year at Penn) during the period when the students came back to school in the fall. They hired extra people to work behind the reception desk in the lobby because hundreds of students were picking up keys to their dorm rooms at the same time.
My diary entry mentions that I was thinking about signing up for some of those shifts. The next entry mentions that I won’t be able to afford textbooks so that is probably why.
INXS video for I Send A Message where Tim is wearing a black and white striped shirt.
One week until the INXS concert in Florida
7/18/84
Just one week until Florida. Renee and Danny both say I should go for it with Michael. My Weekly World News horoscope for next week says I should live it up, laugh it up, and be my usual fun self. An important person has had his eye on me for some time now and this may be the turning point. The answer to a nagging love problem is say yes. Sounds good to me.
I’m so excited about going on my trips. I’ll have almost two straight weeks off from work. I’m not going to be able to afford books in the fall. I worked lunch today and now I have off until Friday. After this weekend vacation starts.
Yesterday Renee and I went to Bergen Mall and then to an erotic cafe in Edgewater called Enigma. It was completely white inside, and body parts grew out of the walls. I had fun but the cappuccino made me sick. I asked the guy if they had any Birthday Party-he didn’t-Psychic TV was playing while we were there.
Danny and Steven F came into the Emerson Hotel today which was a surprise. I’m going over to the Ridge diner tonight to bum around. I tried out Renee’s inversion boots. They gave me a whopping headache.
What should I do about Michael?
You can tell from reading my diary that I was thinking about whether I should have sex with Michael Hutchence or not. His seduction techniques worked on me at least somewhat, and between that and the kissing, I was feeling desire and positive emotions towards him.
Feelings beyond just wanting to live like an adult in every way which was an ongoing thing even though I wasn’t mature enough to prepare for that life. I had never seen a gynecologist and I was thinking about buying a bathing suit on credit far more than I was thinking about getting birth control for my trip.
Asking my youngest brother Danny and Terri’s sister Renee what I should do tells me that my doubts and fears were stronger than my desires. They encouraged me sleep with him.
Even my horoscope said I should sleep with him and maybe I would have if he had been available on that one night in Florida when I was free and I didn’t have to go to work. I’ll never know. More on what happened in my next post.
Terri and I were friends and in the same class in high school. We met in seventh grade when my family moved to Hillsdale. My brother Danny and her sister Renee were also friends and in the same class in high school. Just the other day he was remembering that our father would call him an N-word lover because he was friends with Renee. More about my horrible racist father in a future post.
It’s unusual that Renee and I went on an adventure without either Terri or Danny there. Maybe they were working. I must have been over at their house that day too if I tried hanging upside-down in Renee’s inversion boots.
Steven F was part of the gang of neighborhood kids that we grew up with when we lived in Westwood, New Jersey. He was Danny’s age. They came in to eat lunch at the Emerson Hotel where I worked as a waitress.
Danny worked at the Ridge Diner in Park Ridge; starting as a busboy when he was still in high school. My mother sometimes waitressed at the Ridge Diner as one of her extra jobs to make ends meet and so did I. It’s still going strong today.
Psychic TV was a post punk band and performance art group. I was not a fan.
Trouser Press magazine
7/19/84
Breaker Morant is on tonight after the lottery drawing. Trouser Press went out of business. Record has taken over the subscription duties. It’s a shame that such a good magazine went down the tubes. The Go-Go’s were on the cover of Record. I’m sending away for a catalog of Aussie records.
I got my appetite back and have been putting the pounds back on. I need a new bathing suit for Florida, but I can’t afford it. Maybe I should try Bambergers and charge it. I have to find my missing pants. I think Mike “borrowed” them.
Notes
Bamberger’s was a department store. There was one at the Garden State Plaza shopping mall in Paramus, NJ.
Breaker Morant is an Australian movie from 1980. Bryan Brown was in that movie. He was also in the TV miniseries The Thorn Birds.
Trouser Press was my favorite music magazine. It featured many new wave bands.
A subscription form for Trouser Press magazine from one of my old copies.
Mike is my brother and the middle child in the family. He was the person I was hiding my money from by keeping it in a suitcase in my closet. We had a similar build and sometimes my jeans ended up in his dresser drawer.
MTV is boring
7/21/84
It is rainy outside, so I am stuck here. I feel like going back to bed.
Danny got into a fender bender this morning, but it wasn’t his fault. Some people are just stupid idiots and I’m the one who gets them at work.
MTV is boring. They play so much shit.
Note: I was not happy to be living at home over the summer. Like I said earlier, I wanted to live like an adult. My mother liked to worry about me and keep tabs. She also was very critical of me, and we did not get along well. Plus, there were five grown people living in a small house. I would leave to get away from all of that.
MTV was playing a lot of bands and artists I didn’t like such as ZZ Top, Van Halen, Huey Lewis and the News, John Waite, Wang Chung, Bon Jovi, and the big-haired metal bands like Ratt, Quiet Riot, Twisted Sister, and Motley Crue.
I found a roach in the coleslaw on Saturday night. [July 21,1984] Yummy. Somebody called before closing and whispered, “My stepmother is on her knees.” I don’t know what that means.
I had a couple of psychotic people today. They didn’t like the prime rib, so the woman sent it back. They were very annoying. I have to get a job that has a more expensive menu next time, so I don’t have to deal with so many cheapos.
7/23/84
Just a couple more hours and I’m off to Florida. I’m going to miss Michael K’s going away party. He leaves for the Navy on Wednesday.
I wonder if I’ll end up like Alice and start putting reminder notes everywhere like the ones on her pocketbook. “Remember to read other notes.”
DIAL-A-MATTRESS. Mary Tyler Moore is on now. I’m getting sleepy. I bought a nice-looking bathing suit and a new pocketbook. Danny and Carl are getting up soon to go to the bakery. I don’t know how they do it.
Like Steven F., Michael K. was one of the kids from the neighborhood in Westwood. His family lived across the street from ours. My mother met his mother when they were pregnant with boys who they would name Michael. Michael K. was the youngest of four kids. His sister Claire was my best friend. His other sister Kathleen was blind. His brother Danny was a teenager. Their father had died so they received government benefits.
St. Petersburg
As I mentioned in my diary on 7/16/1984, we had a room booked at the Bayfront Concourse hotel in St Petersburg, Florida for 7/24/84, the night before the INXS and Go-Go’s concert at the theater across the street from the hotel.
Jen is second from the left. Terri is third from the left. I am the one in the red hat. Jess is taking the photo. This photo is from a future INXS concert in August, 1984.
In 1984, the Bayfront Concourse Hotel was where the Hilton St. Petersburg Bayfront is now. The Bayfront Center Arena was where the Dali Museum is now. Google Maps.
Terri took this photo of Michael in front of Toad’s Place in New Haven on August 15, 1983.
This photo of Michael Hutchence was taken by Terri on August 15, 1983. INXS played at Toad’s Place in New Haven, Connecticut. I was not there but my friends were. That INXS had just seen them on the 15th probably explains why they let us into soundcheck on the 16th in Poughkeepsie (see Blog Post 3 for more).
I have this photo because I bought it from Terri back in the 80s. Both Terri and Jess sold photos that they took of INXS to fans to help defray the costs of film and developing. I think Terri got this shot when Michael was posing for some other photographer because a similar shot ended up in some magazine somewhere.
To get to the Garden State Arts Center, we drove down the Garden State Parkway. The Parkway has always had tolls. These days many of the tollbooths have been removed and replaced by sensors and you don’t have to stop at the ones that remain if you have EZ-Pass. You can drive right through at a slow speed.
Back in the 1980s, if you had exact change then you could stop and throw coins through your open car window into a bucket before proceeding. If not, then you went to a tollbooth with an attendant who could take your money for the toll and give you your change.
An example of what we threw our coins into from the car window.
This photo of the toll booth coin bucket is from this article-
You can see the route and distance to get from home to the INXS concert in Holmdel, NJ.
On our way down, we noticed that some of the tollbooths had posters advertising the concert we were going to. Jackie wanted one so the next time we saw one at the toll plaza, she got out of the car and took down the poster while we were stopped at the tollbooth.
The warning from The Go-Go’s bus driver
When we arrived at the Arts Center, we walked over to the backstage door. It wasn’t long before we were told to leave but that didn’t happen until after we spoke to The Go-Go’s’ tour bus driver.
My impression was that he was in his forties- old enough that he could have been our father. His name was Frank. We told him we were there to see INXS, and he said, “Watch out for that singer.” It was weird when he said something along the lines of “he was in some pants he couldn’t get out of.” I’m not sure what exactly he meant by that, but it was clearly something sexual. Now, at this time, none of us had any idea that he was messing around with Belinda Carlisle, but it turns out he was. Did he have his hand down her pants and wouldn’t or couldn’t take it out? We did not ask for clarification. Anyway, The Go-Go’s’ bus driver felt the need to warn us about Michael Hutchence. He told us to be careful and “don’t get hurt for a night of fun.” Clearly, he didn’t think that Michael Hutchence would have our best interests in mind.
I’m grateful for the warning even though it didn’t work at the time. It’s illuminating now. Frank was the bright spot among the men we met while we were doing this stuff. I don’t even know how much he would have seen. INXS had only been part of The Go-Go’s tour since June 22- eleven days at that point. Was he even their bus driver for the whole time? Who knows?
Ever since I watched the Richard Lowenstein documentary, Mystify: Michael Hutchence, in 2020, I have been doing a lot of research so I can know as much as possible about what really happened in 1984 and beyond.
Mystify: Michael Hutchence documentary trailer
What I didn’t know about Michael and Belinda in 1984
Belinda Carlisle’s autobiography contained the most useful information of the books I have read by members of The Go-Go’s. Kathy Valentine’s book didn’t have much useful information to offer about INXS. Gina Schock’s didn’t either-there was nothing that I didn’t already know.
The Go-Go’s started their tour with INXS as the opening act on June 22, 1984 with two nights at the Pine Knob Music Theater in Michigan about 40 miles outside of Detroit.
Belinda wrote that she and Michael hooked up about two days into the tour. So, around the time that Jackie saw INXS in Chicago on June 24, the third date of the tour, is probably when Belinda and Michael started having sex.
As I wrote in my first blog post, I joined a Facebook group for INXS fans back in 2019. One of the women in the group shared a story about having seen Michael Hutchence and Belinda Carlisle in a club in Cleveland and they were rolling around on the floor together. Belinda in her book said that she was partying even harder than Michael was at the time and both were partying very hard. They had a show in Cleveland on June 26, 1984, so this sighting occurred either that night or the previous night if both bands had already arrived in town from Chicago.
On the morning of June 27, 1984, INXS did a live show for a Cleveland radio station. I have the CD from that show. Michael mentioned in an interview during that concert that the band had to catch a flight to New York. They did and we met them when they arrived at their hotel in New York.
The cover of the INXS CD of the special morning radio concert at the Cleveland Agora on June 27, 1984Screenshot from Amazon that gives information about the concert CD.
Based on what Gina Schock wrote in her book, Michael and possibly other members of INXS went out to clubs with her and Belinda that night. This was not something we heard about when we saw them. We weren’t invited and I’m not sure we would have gone if we had been. It would have been boring for me as it usually was because I didn’t care for clubs and bars. I only drank a little and I didn’t do drugs and neither did my friends.
The drummer for The Go-Go’s, Gina Schock, had a book published.
According to Andy Warhol’s diary and Belinda’s book, there was a party thrown for The Go-Go’s after they played Radio City Music Hall on June 28th at a club in New York City. I don’t know if anyone from INXS was invited or was at the party. The books don’t say.
I ordered Belinda Carlisle’s book to read on my Kindle.
Now that I am done adding some information that pertains to Michael and Belinda and the tour up until now, I will get back to the story.
Back to July 2nd. Birthday Presents for Kirk
After we were kicked out from the area near the backstage door, we stood near the road where the tour bus would have to come in and we waited for INXS to arrive. When we saw the bus, I think Terri waved to get the bus to stop. We had presents to give to Kirk for his birthday on July 4th. The bus stopped and Gary Grant opened the door. Jess was the one who handed him our gifts and told him they were for Kirk’s birthday. My friends told me that everyone in the band waved to us from the bus windows, but I only saw Andrew Farriss wave.
I gave Kirk a coffee mug, an American flag, sparklers (for the 4th of July), and an entire issue of The Weekly World News. The main story was about a priest who burst into flames while performing an exorcism.
The actual cover of the Weekly World News I gave to Kirk Pengilly.
Security was a pain at this concert too. It was very difficult to find seats down in front when everyone was forced by security to sit down and there were more people than there were seats. We didn’t have tickets for seats near the stage. Jackie, Jess, and Terri had to move around a lot. I spent most of the show over on Kirk’s side of the stage and I was able to do that because a nice girl named Joyce let me share her seat with her when we were told to sit down.
During the show, the band noticed where we ended up whenever we had to move. It was always fun to interact with them. Sometimes, we would put our arms up and sway or clap and some members of the band would pick it up from us. Other times, the band would do something, and we would copy them. During the song “I Send A Message” my friends and I would all yell “Hey, Timmy” just before his guitar solo.
While INXS played the song “Original Sin,” Michael Hutchence came over to Kirk’s side of the stage and he noticed that Joyce and I were sitting together in the same seat. When he did, he smiled at us, and I smiled back at him. When the show was over, I asked Joyce for her address so I could write to her. She gave it to me. I think I might have told her that we knew the band and I would write to her about it.
Following the bus again
Once again, we waited in our car for INXS to leave the Garden State Arts Center in their tour bus and we followed the bus when it left. This time we lost the bus for a bit after we stopped in a highway rest stop and made a wrong turn. But we found them again when we saw the tour bus stopped at a different highway rest stop. We pulled over on the shoulder of the highway and then waited for the tour bus to return to the road. Once it did, we pulled out behind the bus again and followed them-we didn’t know where we would end up.
The time and distance between the INXS concert and their hotel on Long Island.
INXS gets out of the bus at their hotel
All of us got out of the car and went over to the bus to wait for the band to emerge. I no longer had a big problem with doing it as we seemed to be welcome. Kirk and Karen got off the bus. Karen was holding the American flag that was part of my birthday present to Kirk. Kirk thanked us for the presents. He said, “I got the whole paper”, and it sounded like he was bragging. It was also a reference to the fact that Garry only received part of the Weekly World News when I gave him a birthday gift. Yes, Kirk was my favorite, and I gave him a much better present than the one I gave to Garry Gary. Kirk told us that the paper was passed around the bus so everyone could look at it during the ride. He also said that he would stop by at the bar later, but he never showed up. More about that in a future post.
Jon Farriss got off the bus and we talked to him. We asked him where INXS would be playing on their own the next day, July 3rd. He said, “I don’t know. East Hampstead, New Hampshire, East Hamster, something like that.” The official list of concert dates that INXS compiled has the wrong town listed too. They played in East Hampton on Long Island the next day. More about that in the future post I mentioned. I bought the deluxe edition of Calling All Nations from INXS because I wanted the list of their shows which they call Gigography.
It seems that Michael spent the long bus ride drinking alcohol and having his hair braided by Karen. At that time, Karen was a hairdresser. I don’t remember how I knew that-did someone from the band tell me or my friends or did we read it somewhere- I have no idea, but it was something I knew.
Michael drunk on the pavement
Michael came out of the bus, and he was very drunk. He took a few steps and then decided to make himself comfortable on the pavement near us in the parking lot. He was lying on the ground. The rest of the band just left him there and went about their business.
Garry Gary came off the bus and he was carrying his bass in a case. Michael saw that and said that Garry had a gun. Then Michael started babbling about the gun that he had. It was the replica of a Russian gun, and you could flip up one of the pieces, etc., etc. I had no idea what he was trying to describe to us.
Michael was still on the ground when he took out a cigarette and a lighter. Jackie ended up lighting Michael’s cigarette for him while he insisted that he was able to light the cigarette himself. But people were happy to do things for him and always willing to do things for him and to give things to him. Jackie wanted to do it.
He made a very interesting remark about the drunken state he was in. He said that if he kept up what he was doing that he would be an alcoholic by the end of the year. But we shouldn’t worry about him because he would not keep it up. Incredible that he would say that to us when he barely knew us. Did we look so concerned that he felt he needed to say that? Or was he just kidding himself that he didn’t really have a problem?
Eventually he stood up and he continued to talk to us. The subject turned to cars, and he told us he had a Citroen and that he was going to buy a new car when he got home- a five speed. We also heard about Kirk’s old car and how they used to drive it at a low speed and then one of them would jump on the hood of the car and then roll off it on the other side-like stunt men in the movies getting hit by a car.
Michael acting stupid
When a big car drove by us as it was leaving the parking lot, Michael went to jump out in front of it like he was going to demonstrate what he and Kirk did but then he stopped. After that, I thought Michael was fucking crazy. Then he said that the car that drove by was “awful.”
Michael told me that he saw me in the audience at the show and noticed that I was sharing a seat. I’m sure I told him all about that. Terri asked Michael to take his hair out of the braid it was in because she didn’t like it that way. And Michael did it while telling us that he doesn’t care about hair. He said in his soft, lispy, voice that he was trying to grow his hair long like a hippie and that many people complained to him that it “looked uncool or something.”
I decided to get lottery numbers from Michael, so I asked him to pick a number for me. Jackie suggested 69- ha, ha, ha, get it? The first number he chose was 4. I told him I already play that number so he should pick another one. He picked 8. Then I asked him if he could even count as high as 36. (The NJ Pick-6 Lotto at the time had numbers from 1-36.)
What I said was a joke that was meant to mock him and insult him because I didn’t have a high opinion of him, and I didn’t like or respect him. Michael was offended and hurt by it. He seems to have thought that everyone considered him stupid. I had touched a sore spot. He said, “I’m not dumb” and asked, “why do people always think I am?” His reaction told me something about him. He cared too much about what other people thought of him.
Michael’s British friends show up
Our time with Michael in the parking lot came to an end when three British guys who knew Michael showed up. One guy was named William, and he was or had been a roadie for The Stray Cats. Michael went into the hotel with them.
INXS opened for The Stray Cats a few times in 1983 when they came to the United States for the first time. First, they opened for Adam Ant. Then they opened for The Kinks for one show, played at the US Festival, and opened for The Stray Cats before going back to Australia in June of 1983. So, he would have met William then.
This story will continue in the next blog post because the night is not over for us.
Michael Hutchence, INXS, July 1984, Photo by Jackie
Where I left off:
Sophomore year of college has ended, and I have returned to Hillsdale, New Jersey for the summer. I’m waitressing at the Emerson Hotel (which is not a hotel but only a restaurant) for the second summer in a row. My friends and I are waiting for word on when INXS will tour.
5/29/84
I just pigged out on Doritos and two candy bars. Now Frank keeps telling me I’m going to get fat. No way. I’ve been working a lot and also doing stretching and exercise as well. I just have to get a haircut and I’ll look great.
Meatballs is on TV. I’m reading the Weekly World News. I’m getting slightly bored. I shouldn’t have eaten so much. I’m drinking Dr. Pepper to stay awake.
I got out of work late today. The party wasn’t too much work. I made $21 today.
I’m still waiting to get paid from the school. Hopefully the financial aid thing will come soon so I know how much I need to save this summer. Then when I’ve saved that I can buy things.
Time to go to bed. After tomorrow I will have worked seven days straight. Kim B has broken my 100m record. [One of my high school track records.] It makes me nauseous.
The trailer for Meatballs from 1979
More diary entries
In this entry I am sitting in Friendly’s eating a Sunday for some of the time. I mention opening a bank account because I had to hide my tip money from my brother (not Danny). This brother would steal various things like my coin collection or money so he could buy pot (marijuana). He would also eat the food that I bought. During both summers I was home waitressing I hid money in a suitcase in my closet-much of it was in dollar bills.
5/30/84
For the third day in a row the weather has been for the ducks and other amphibious creatures. I just saw Mr. DeCaro in Westwood. [A teacher from my high school.] I’m surprised he recognized me.
Sammy (one of the Albanian kitchen workers) kept saying “You get mashed potatoes for lunch”. He made sure I’d get some because I didn’t yesterday. He is nice. I still don’t understand him half of the time like when I was leaving, he said something about plants or something. Who knows?
David [Head cook at the Emerson Hotel] is starting in again with the still waters run deep stuff. Now I’m a prostitute in NY on my days off. Alicia [a fellow waitress] is the only one David treats halfway nicely, and he does it to get whoever he can steamed about it. He fed her Veal Parm a couple of times.
I should open a bank account and get my money out of the house.
Original Sin made it into the 50s and is now falling.
I’m at Friendly’s now. Another fit of hyperactivity and a whipped cream craving brought me here.
Gary Grant called Terri today. It seems that June is the month. I wonder what the future will bring?
Oh gee, I think life is just too exciting for me. I pity the people who work here. If I had to deal with all of these definite psychopaths every day, I don’t know what I’d do. They probably think I’m one of them. At least I’m quiet.
At least where I work, they’re too old to be rowdy. Too much excitement and they’d probably have a stroke. I should check out the parking lot in front of Medi Mart to see the lake.
Hillsdale is such a beat town. Two rednecks followed me in Music Merchant today. Where are all the real men? If I get some definite plans soon, I can arrange for days off. I love when people in jogging suits come in for a sundae.
David was saying how Alicia came in and told everyone she played the flute. The skin flute? These people must make garbage money. There’s another lone girl drinking coffee and smoking.
5/31/84
I said I wasn’t going to waste time, but it is three o’clock and I’ve done nothing. I just went to Quick Chek [a convenience store near Friendly’s. Half a mile from my house] to get lunch. Maybe I’ll go for a long walk later. I slept until after noon. It was so cold and dark outside I just couldn’t get out of bed. That is a habit I must break if I want to make the best use of my time. I made an appointment to get my haircut on Saturday.
I went up to PV [Pascack Valley High School where I went to school. Eight-tenths of a mile from my house] and looked to see if the record board was on the wall. It wasn’t. I jumped over a hurdle a few times and took a couple of long jumps. I jumped almost fourteen feet in my estimation. That’s pretty good for not having trained for two years and for wearing pants. There’s junk on TV as usual. I’m watching Oh Heavenly Dog. On my second walk I watched a rabbit eat.
6/1/84
I’m going to see Breakin’ today. I spoke to Terri on the phone recalling past stupidity over the wire like when someone called for Nora and I said, “She’s not here right now”. “When will she be back?” “Actually, she doesn’t live here”.
Breakin’ had good dancing but not much plot and terrible acting.
INXS is going to be here in the next two or three weeks. They have a date in Seattle on June 21.
I’m kind of depressed. I’m going to sleep now.
Trailer for Breakin’
Jean Paul Sartre and a new haircut
I needed to cut all my permed hair off because it looked like this. This photo also shows the hat I wore to the first INXS concert I went to in 1984. More on that soon.
At Jes’ house in 1983. Old photo. Donna. Sometime after start of sophomore year at Penn.
6/2/84
It’s almost time to get my haircut. My hair will probably never be this long again. I hope it turns out nice.
I finally finished Nausea. Roquentin’s life is over even though he is still alive because he has discovered that existence is meaningless. He thinks he is superfluous. “Every existing thing is born without reason, prolongs itself out of weakness, and dies by chance.”
A YouTube video about Jean Paul Sartre’s novel, “Nausea.” I chose this video because it features a real person and isn’t created or narrated by AI.
6/3/84
Another Sunday over and done with. In twelve hours, I will be back working. I hope I don’t have dreams where I wait on people all night like last night. Everyone has complimented me on my haircut. It is very short, but I like it a lot. I have to see how punky it can get.
One table of Joanne’s was very nice. The woman said I could be a model pretty much because I am tall. “Tall is in”, she said. I suppose I can stop in at Reinhard’s [the Philly modeling agency] when I get back to school. It couldn’t hurt. I’d like to do a commercial or get into acting maybe. I wonder where I’ll be when I’m forty.
After the haircut
My new haircut. I am next to my brother Danny.
Mostly entries about work
I’ve included these to give an idea of what my job was like and how much money I made. Also to show that I did not have my own car and I had to share the cars with my mother and my mother’s husband, Carl. He had a vintage Mercedes that he brought to the marriage. He was not at all wealthy though. As a baker, he worked long hours and very hard, but he made very little profit. My mother was the primary wage earner. She was a chemist at a paper company.
Some guy was choking today. Jackie [a fellow waitress] tried to help him, but she wasn’t strong enough. Some man gave him the Heimlich maneuver and got the food out.
Yesterday, the police and ambulance were there because some old lady looked like she had an attack. She was OK too. It was a decent lunch today-$23. Usually, I only make about $15. I was worried this morning that I wouldn’t get to work because Carl took the car somewhere, but I made it.
I just went up to the track and ran a mile in 7:06. I’m not in terrible shape but I’ll be sore tomorrow. I saw Mr. Heinz [a teacher from my high school and one of my track coaches] and he told me that Kim B broke my 100 and long jump records. Heinz thinks it will take two more years for her to break the rest of them.
6/6/84
I hate working parties at lunch. Alice [my boss] wanted me to work on Friday, but I said no because I’m going to be up all of Thursday night. [Going to see Thomas Dolby in concert.] Alice is such a bitch. She doesn’t tell us anything and then chides us when we make a mistake. Jimmy (the owner) was getting on my nerves too. I don’t like people talking condescendingly to me. David (the cook) got on my nerves too. I want to get my ear double pierced tonight. Terri was bothering me about getting my hair cut short, but I told her to shut up until she sees it tomorrow.
6/7/84
Good morning. Off from work at last!
I went to Nanuet last night and got my right ear double pierced. People lie when they say it doesn’t hurt. I also bought a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. I’m listening to Taking Tiger Mountain, the Brian Eno tape I bought yesterday. All of his records are the lowest price on the chart at Music Merchant.
Mom better not be getting nosy in my stuff because it is not her business. If she does then no way am I coming back to live here again if I can help it. Time to eat and watch the soaps. I have an hour to kill before I have to be at Terri’s.
Thomas Dolby concert & INXS is coming soon!
6/8/84
In three weeks, they are here. [INXS] June 28 at Radio City. June 30 at Jones Beach and July 2 at Holmdel.
The concert last night wasn’t as good as the other one I saw. It was too hot and sticky and hard to see. I’m sure that girl keyboard player is a transvestite. If she isn’t then she is an extremely ugly girl. My stomach acted up on me again. I missed Windpower because I had to go to the bathroom.
Terri and Jess seem to be sticks in the mud. I’ll deal with it if the time comes to. Driving in NYC is enough to give anyone an ulcer or heart attack. The drivers are crazy. We drove through Harlem, and it was really sad. Some places looked like they’d been bombed. We drove past an open fire hydrant and Terri said “Open the window” so I did, and we got soaked. She was only kidding but I’ll do just about anything if it is suggested.
Windpower video
Soccer
6/10/84
It has been a long day. It went by like it was three days instead of ten hours. I didn’t make much money today. My tables were cheap tippers. I told people I was getting a tattoo because Toni [a fellow waitress] is my idol. I was afraid to ask Alice for days off, but I did it and she marked it down in the book. I used Jackie Fuhrmann as my excuse.
It is so fucking hot. I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep well tonight. Yesterday was the Sting game. Karl Heinz Granitza gave us some tickets and so did Seninho. Karl Heinz gave his jersey to Terri. The Sting left right after the game. We hung out and then went to the Front Row and talked.
My dad was a psycho
6/12/84
I woke up early today because Mom needed a ride to work. She is going to be away until Friday. I drove the Mercedes for the first time. It is easy to handle but it moves by itself, and I get startled every time it shifts gears on its own.
Yesterday, Danny drove me into Westwood. I went to Berkeley elementary school. It is a lot smaller than I remember. Of course, everything looks big when you are small. I can’t imagine myself that short. I went down by the brook and saw the waterfall. There was a no trespassing sign and a bunch of geese. I thought they were patrolling the property because they came towards me when I stepped on the grass. I don’t know why I was afraid of them. They don’t even have teeth. I walked back home and then ate dinner. I have to get out of the house when everyone else is there.
I went to the diner with Danny and Steven Flood. I think we were a bit loud while we were there. We were reminiscing. We talked about the old neighborhood in Westwood. We talked about the crazy and delinquent things that we did and about how psychotic my father was. We went driving in NY state and then came back here. We brought back Bill with us. He is also a busboy at the diner.
We played a game of Trivial Pursuit. Steven won with the help of a few lucky guesses. I came in second. Danny finally came in third at 2:30 in the morning.
I think I will close tonight at work. I don’t mind because I get a break to eat. Everyone there keeps saying how I talk more now and I’m getting wise. I can talk to other people easier. I’m more friendly than I used to be.
More harassment in New York City
6/13/84
I’m getting a taste of the days when there was no electricity. There was a huge storm when I was in NYC, and I guess that caused a power outage. I don’t think people ate Chef Boyardee mini ravioli in those days. I’m writing by candlelight-how romantic.
Terri and I went into the city to shop for clothes. I bought shoes, shorts, a dress, and some tops. It was hot earlier. Terri wore shorts but she regretted it when the comments and looks started. I bought a bird whistle from a man with one arm, and I decided to give it to Garry Gary for his birthday. Terri bought James Lee a red shirt and is going to put Stay Young on it and give it to Timmy. Someone gave me grapes for free and some other people offered us coffee. I don’t know why.
Working Tuesday night was a bitch. I got stuck with a lot of parties at one point. I had a fucking jerkoff table of six that left me $4.50 on a $70 check. Dicks.
I have to copy some good Ed Anger phrases so I can remember like “I’m sicker than a hog with a belly full of wild onions” and “Madder than Richard Simmons with a run in his leotard.”
I don’t think I would be able to survive without electricity. I’m too accustomed to it by now. I can still play my Casio because it has batteries.
Financial Aid
6/14/84
Someone is paving our driveway, and it is very noisy. I made a lot of money in May, but I haven’t saved much. I should enter the MTV party house contest. I would win a house in Indiana! Oh wow! Then me and John Mellencamp would paint the mother pink.
I don’t think I’ll ever be satisfied with my wardrobe. I still need something decent to wear. The dress I bought was too small and I don’t like it. My stomach is a pain. I don’t look good in some things because of it and buying pants and skirts is a pain. I’m not satisfied with much of anything today.
I got the good news from the school. The grand total for my fine institution is $15,200. [That’s equivalent to about $47,400 in 2025.] I have to come up with $1300. [I paid a share determined by the university. My mother paid a share determined by the university. The rest was covered by financial aid, grants, and student loans.] That’s not too bad. I’ll have that in two weeks.
I finished reading 1984. It is a great book. I don’t know how easily I would succumb to doublethink. I did solve a mystery because of that book. I read about the snakes and ladders game which in this country is called chutes and ladders. I’m restless again. I feel like going for a walk or staying up all night.
A video about Chutes and Ladders. George Orwell’s novel, “1984”, mentions a game called Snakes and Ladders and I was able to deduce that the game was the same as the one in America called Chutes and Ladders. The INXS song “Melting in the Sun” has the lyric, “take a snake or take a ladder” and now I knew what that lyric meant. I had never heard of Snakes and Ladders before.
6/16/84
Bridget [fellow waitress] was encouraging about my future. She said I would get a new wardrobe, a good job, make lots of money, take vacations. I guess I should want that. I don’t know. She was encouraging me to go to Florida. [To see INXS in concert.] I suppose I could afford another trip.
I bought gray pants today. I have my outfit for Radio City. I keep going back and forth between thinking I look good and thinking I look awful. People are overly critical about their own looks. I saw Kathy [member of my high school track team] where I bought the pants. She works there doing the same thing as Terri-straightening out the racks and shit. We don’t have much in common besides track.
6/17/84
Home at last. Work sucked as it usually does on Sunday. I forgot Dad on this Father’s Day. Out of sight, out of mind.
6/18/84
Jackie will be here a week from tomorrow. I might go to Florida. [To see INXS in concert.] I have enough money for school, so I just need money for Florida. I’m going to see Ghostbusters tonight. There is too much to do. I want to be wealthy-then I wouldn’t have to work and could spend time on more important things.
Fun in New York City
6/19/84
Tomorrow I’m going into the city again. We are going to check out Canal St. I have a month to save the money for Florida.
6/20/84
I’m so tired. I got a message that Alice [my boss] called. She must have called this morning, but I’ve been in the city all day. I didn’t get back until 11:30pm.
I met Dana, the INXS Alliance girl. She has a job with the booking agent for The Go-Gos. That is a good job to have. I can’t afford to have a job just for making connections.
I’m not in the best of moods right now. It’s the usual anxiety attack.
I’m listening to a Chinese tape that I bought in Chinatown. I had fun today. I bought some earrings that mean happiness in Chinese. The owner translated all of the earrings for us. I also bought a Chinese mask. I got my fortune at a Buddhist temple for 50 cents. It says-“Probability of Success- excellent. Wherever in the world you may travel, some mystery you sure will unravel. A simple mallet dug out from gravel may turn to be a president’s gavel.” Some Chinese woman got me to buy four chicken sandwiches for her.
I met a guy who works security during concerts in the city. He will be doing Michael Jackson’s shows. He is into the martial arts. He told us not to be strangers but to keep being strange.
I’m getting sick of people calling me strange. Strange is the guy who asked me if I ever had frozen pink. He said I should put Jess’s Dekadance t-shirt in the freezer and then cut out the pink and eat it.
Danny is graduating from high school tomorrow. Dr. Poli [the high school principal] has banned cap throwing. Danny looked forward to chucking his cap and the whole place away.
Jess’s Dekadance t-shirt had a picture of the album cover on it. INXS released two different versions of the Dekadance EP. The one released in the U.S. had remixes of songs from Shabooh Shoobah.
INXS
6/22/84
Today is Garry Gary Beers’ birthday.
Yesterday I went to Danny’s graduation and saw some people I knew and then went to Terri’s to pick up my Casio.
I’m not in a good mood today. I hope I get my period soon to get over this soon. [PMS] I have to go to work today.
I got the concert days off but not the days around them. It’s going to be interesting. Terri called Gary [Gary Grant, INXS tour manager] in Michigan. He said Original Sin went to number one in France, but I didn’t see it.
Freddie Soehnlein [a family friend] died in a swimming pool. I read that in the paper while I was on the phone with Terri.
I made a ton of money today. $110. [The equivalent of $343 in 2025.] Somebody left me a $26 tip. It is pouring rain outside, or I’d go out. Van Halen is annoying me on MTV. I’m not into the videos they play these days.
I asked for July 7 off so I can go to Philly. [To see INXS in concert.]
I asked Aunt Barbara for my oboe back so I can get into it again.
6/25/84
I bought five tapes and went out to dinner at the diner. Then I went to see The Karate Kid and now I’m at home watching David Letterman.
6/26/84
I’m hyperactive now. Only 24 hrs. or so to go. I can’t wait. Jackie talked to them, [INXS] and they remember Terri. Terri is getting all of the inside information no problem.
The bird whistle
The plastic whistle that was shaped like a bird was extremely cheap. It wasn’t something I wanted. I only bought it on June 13th out of pity for the one-armed man who was selling them on the streets of New York City.
To turn it into a gag gift for Garry Gary for his birthday, I placed the whistle in a shoebox along with some articles that I cut out from the Weekly World News. I wrote a note from Eric, the bird whistle, that explained he was an orphan whose owner had been killed in a tragic boating accident. I named the toy, Eric, because I loved Monty Python’s Flying Circus which I watched as a kid. Channel 13 was the PBS (Public Broadcasting) channel in New York City, and they started showing Monty Python in 1974.
Channel 13 promo video
The sketches that included animals named Eric:
Fish License sketch video
Eric The Half a Bee video
I wrapped the shoebox in the cover of an issue of The Weekly World News. The headline was “Jealous Computer Kills Top Scientist.” I can’t find a photo of that issue on the internet.
Here’s a photo of a different issue from that time.
The cover of the Weekly World News tabloid paper from June 26, 1984.
On June 27, 1984, Jess, Terri, Jackie, and I went to New York City in the evening to wait in the lobby of the hotel where INXS would be staying. Terri drove us. I wrote in my diary that it was the Windsor Harley Hotel, but the internet tells me that the Helmsleys owned a hotel named Windsor and a hotel named Harley and not a hotel called Windsor Harley. My best guess is that INXS stayed at the Helmsley Windsor Hotel on 58th St and 6th Ave just up the street from Radio City Music Hall where they were to open for The Go-Go’s the next night.
Everyone had birthday presents for Garry Gary so what I remember is all of us being around Kirk and Garry while we gave him his gifts. Michael came over and planted a kiss on my cheek. Not something I was interested in because I still didn’t like him. The wrapping on my shoebox gave everyone a laugh. The gift though? Maybe not. It was weird.
Kirk told us that he had to go to the airport and pick up “the little battler.” That’s some kind of Australian slang that seemed kind of misogynistic or insulting like “the ball and chain” or “the old lady.” Not being Australian, I had no idea what he meant. The internet says that he called her a working-class person.
He was talking about his girlfriend, Karen Hutchinson, who was flying in from Australia to spend some time on tour with Kirk. Pretty clear message there that nothing further was going to happen between me and Kirk Pengilly.
I think I had already gotten that message though after getting the friendly, polite letter with no contact information and the revelation in the magazine that he had a girlfriend.
Before Kirk left, I told him that I had started playing the lottery and I asked for a number. He picked 26 which was his age. I also asked Gary Grant for a lottery number, and he picked 27 which I believe was also his age.
Scary drive back to New Jersey late at night
While Terri was driving north on Amsterdam Avenue to get to the George Washington Bridge, the car hit a huge pothole. I don’t know if we were in Harlem or already north of Harlem when it happened. Afterwards, we heard a scraping noise of metal in contact with the road. Terri pulled into a gas station, and we wanted the attendant to help us, but he refused to leave the booth he was in. That was a sign that we were in an area that had a lot of criminal activity.
Jackie was panicking and she lived in Chicago, so it was surprising that she was so frightened. The rest of us were also frightened and it only got worse when a car full of Hispanic guys stopped and asked if we needed help. Because now we have two problems; a broken car and several men we don’t know who might be looking to take advantage of an opportunity to hurt us.
Terri and I put on our toughest tough girl attitudes and Terri said no to them. She told them to go away very firmly when they asked again, and thankfully they did.
A piece of the car was hanging down and touching the ground. It turned out to be the oil pan, but I didn’t know what it was at the time. I had the idea to tie it back up to the underside of the car using my belt. I had a cool-looking hip belt. A hip belt was not worn through belt loops but was worn slung around your hips. My belt had a bunch of silver-colored rings about one inch in diameter and they were connected by strips of black leather. It was a sturdy belt.
An example of a hip belt from the 1980s. Mine had similar rings but they were held together by strips of black leather.
So, I took off my belt, got on the ground, and managed to loop the belt through some part of the oil pan and then loop my belt through some metal part of the underbody so the oil pan was not scraping the ground. Then I buckled the belt to secure it. After that, I bought a quart of oil from the attendant in the booth just in case the car was leaking oil, and we would need to add some on the way home.
We got back on the road and didn’t have any more problems getting back to New Jersey. Terri had to take her car to the shop to have the oil pan fixed, so we had to use Jess’ car to carry on with our adventures.
The INXS concert
The next day, June 28, 1984, was the day of the concert. Jess drove Terri, Jackie, and I into New York City in the afternoon and we parked in the Port Authority Bus Terminal lot.
When we went to Radio City Music Hall, we discovered that we had missed the soundcheck, so we walked over to the hotel. I wore big black felt hat with a flat top and a wide brim that I found at a thrift shop in Greenwich Village. It was similar to the hat that Michael Hutchence wore in the INXS video, “The One Thing” except that it didn’t have a band and the brim was wider. My shirt was black and gray striped-it was sleeveless, and it came up to my neck in front but was low-cut in back. Paired with gray cropped pants and cheap black sandals that looked a little punky because they had cheap metallic bits sewn to the straps across my feet. Around my hips was the famous belt that I had removed from underneath the car.
While walking to the hotel, we just happened to pop into a pizza parlor and Andrew Farriss was in there. Andrew wasn’t much into socializing, so we didn’t bother him often, but I took the opportunity to walk over to him to introduce myself. I extended my hand and said, “Hi! I’m Donna,” and we shook hands. Because other than Kirk, I don’t think any of them knew my name and they all already knew Terri, Jess, and Jackie.
We ran into Michael Hutchence on the sidewalk outside the hotel. I was surprised by how nice and friendly he was when we were talking to him because he had come across as arrogant in the past. This was the first time I had something other than a negative impression of him. As a person and not as a singer, that is.
He told me he liked my hat. I loved my hat! Terri often asked him, other members of the band, and Gary Grant, the manager, to do things for us. She told Michael that we did not have good seats near the front and asked him to tell the audience to move up to the front when he got on stage so we could move up closer. I can’t remember if he did that, but it was definitely something he would be willing to do.
The only thing I remember from the show is being angry because there was one girl who jumped up on stage and ran up to Michael three different times. Now, instead of singing the song for everyone, he had to hug the girl to try to be nice and then deal with her grabbing onto him until someone could pull her away.
The third time she jumped onstage, several other girls joined her, so Michael had multiple girls mauling him when he was trying to sing. They ruined more than one song. We hated that. It’s so rude in so many ways. Fans like that are a terrible problem.
After the show
We left Radio City Music Hall before The Go-Go’s took the stage and waited outside for INXS to leave. Gary Grant came out and we talked about the girls jumping onstage. He was also very angry and used rude language to talk about those girls. Called them all sorts of names.
Kirk Pengilly was outside signing autographs for some fans. He had his head down while doing it. I went over and said something like, “Kirk, you’ll never believe what happened to us when we drove home last night.” Without looking up he said, “What is it, Donna?” So, I told him the story about how we hit a pothole, and I used the belt that I was wearing to tie up the bottom of the car so we could drive home. For the second time in a row, we had a problem with the car when we went to see INXS. I had to tell him because it was like a thing now.
I’m sure plenty of other stuff happened but I was too busy to write it all down and I don’t remember anymore. All I know is that we took a horse-drawn carriage to get back to the car at Port Authority. It was fun but not at all scenic.
Here is a photo from 1991 and the black hat is sitting on the coatrack. You can see that it was collecting dust and I eventually got rid of it because I didn’t wear it and it did was take up space and collect dust.
My room in the apartment I shared in West Philadelphia. My hats and also some INXS stuff on the exposed drywall.
The fourth album by the Australian rock band, INXS.
This post contains diary entries and a letter. There is information about the Australian rock band, INXS, and about what I was doing, thinking, and feeling.
Working graveyard shifts
It’s towards the end of spring semester of my sophomore year in college. I am working at my work-study job for West Campus which oversees the student dorms in the western part of Penn’s campus. That includes the three high-rise apartment buildings where I worked and lived.
Here are a couple of diary entries from when I was working the overnight (graveyard) shift at the desk in the lobby of one of the high-rise buildings. There was an intercom system that broadcast into the stairwells that could be switched on at the desk. There was a hand-held microphone at the desk that was part of the system. It was there for fire safety. During fire alarms, the students were trained to leave their rooms and wait in the stairwells. The intercom could be used to tell them to evacuate the building if it was necessary. Usually, it was used to tell them to remain in the stairwell.
The two tall buildings in the bottom right are High Rise North and High Rise East. West Campus. University of Pennsylvania.
4/27/84
Another night, another graveyard. INXS is keeping me awake tonight. Now I’m playing with the mike and singing to the lobby. A guy with a New Order and Bauhaus tape left me the case and took my INXS one. He said I had a pretty good voice and asked if I was in a band.
All the weirdos are out tonight. Some guy wanted to know if I did crank. I said no and he said, “what are you doing tonight?” Nada. INXS and Dr. Pepper make for a natural high.
Time to wake up Ralph-he’s coming in to replace me at 4. Someone showed me a death star instead of ID. Very comforting.
4/28/84
I’m at work again. I’ll be at work later tonight. Hopefully I won’t be incoherent by the time I finish tomorrow.
It’s graveyard time again. I’ll probably be incoherent soon. At 2am it will instantly be 3.
It’s 5am and I’ve lost it completely. Don just left. We had an interesting conversation. I bought a pizza at a discount. I don’t know why because I ate three pieces and gave the rest away and it cost five dollars. Someone could sell me the Brooklyn Bridge at this point.
A guy claiming to be a social worker almost duped me. Luckily, Victor was around because he found out that the number the guy was calling was for a Honda dealership. The guy left. I am very stupid when it comes to believing people.
I don’t think I’ll remember anything if I study. Just have to keep awake. I’m glad the elevators are here to swallow up the people as soon as they come in. I wonder if my saying I like graveyards is a form of relieving dissonance. I don’t think so because I do like the peace and quiet. I’m the owner of the building. I’m in charge-I put my feet on the desk and blast music. It’s all mine. People think I’m crazy when I say I have fun. I’m getting paid for hanging out and having a private party. I only have to stay awake to make sure that only Penn jerks get in and not jerks off the street.
I’ve been up for 17 hours. That’s not even close to a record. Why it’s nothing really. I should be sharp as a knife. I think I own a dull blade.
The sun is peeking out from the horizon. This dawn used to be sunset in Australia. It’s amazing what a little light does to me. Sunrises are amazing.
It’s fun whirling in my chair. If I ever become an executive- God forbid, I want a chair I can spin around in.
I’m ruining my teeth drinking all this Dr. Pee Pee. Here comes Mr. Sunshine. Here comes Mr. Rainwater. Here come the Anarchittys running up the street.
The trees are a nice color green today. I don’t want to study my schoolwork. I want to be rich. I want to go traveling. Gonna blast some German music. [Falco] I wish I knew the words. My bladder is becoming really efficient because of this job. There’s a funky pigeon outside the door. I’m having a Dr. Pepper overdose. When I go home this summer, I’m going to have nicotine and pepper withdrawal.
4/29/84
It seems these past couple of days I was either sleeping or at work.
Well, I just got up, so it is off to work in a few.
Original Sin finally debuted on the charts here at #87.
I’m getting depressed. I have to figure out a way to get out of lunches at the Emerson Hotel. Fran is going into the hospital, so they’ll probably want me to work as soon as I get back. Terrific. I just have to think of the money. The whole thing is depressing.
I spoke to Mom on the phone. It doesn’t help my mood at all. Sleep will be good tonight. I’m so tired. I won’t dream. I won’t think. I’ll have an eight-hour vacation from this world.
The weather is nice. A cool breeze is coming in through the door. Danny is getting a computer. I might be able to use it over the summer.
Chris invited me to an EST meeting on Tuesday. I haven’t gotten mail in two or three weeks. I want my Trouser Press. I have to subscribe to it again.
From my collection of Trouser Press magazine. October 1983 issue.
5/1/84
Another graveyard. This one hasn’t been much fun. It is 6:20am. I want to die. I have so much work to do.
I went to an EST guest seminar, and everyone gives me the hard sell to do the training. I don’t know. I feel like hell.
5/3/84
It is 2pm and I’m about to take a nap because of a graveyard tonight.
I’ve been keeping weird hours. I worked graveyard Tuesday then slept from 8-3 then stayed up until midnight and got up at seven this morning for my Sociology final which went OK. I got my paycheck today.
Some woman from EST called here to talk to me. I don’t know how she got my number, but they better stop bothering me.
5/4/84
Nan just told me that the light under the desk was on meaning that everything going on at the desk was being broadcast into the stairwells- how embarrassing. A girl came down from the stairwell while I was playing INXS and singing to it and she said I had a good voice so it must have been on then. I wondered how she was able to hear me. It was bound to happen sooner or later. A total of about seven people offered to get me coffee or breakfast. I never expected so many considerate people to be around.
5/5/84
It is almost 10 pm and once again I am behind the desk. My feet are vibrating because they are on top of the refrigerator. I’m listening to the Swing. I made a special trip downtown to buy it. I told Chip from WQHS it was a great album so maybe they will play it. I should be getting paid for PR work.
Letter from Terri
A letter from Terri who was still in school in Florida arrived. It seems to be the last letter from her for the next few months. We were both about to go back to New Jersey for the summer, so we didn’t need to communicate by mail once that happened.
Terri gave me news about INXS. She said that “The Swing” was supposed to be out in a few days. One of her pen pals in Australia recorded it on cassette for her so she had already listened to it and said it was great.
Gary Grant was still in Australia, so she was not able to speak to him when she called Atco Records. The receptionist finally put her through to someone else and whoever it was said that “there was nothing definite, but there was talk of a spring tour with the Cars. If they plan to come in OUR spring, they better get something settled soon!!”
A friend of hers left for Australia so Terri told her about Gary Grant and gave her the address for their office in Sydney so she could go there if she had a chance. I don’t know if she actually did.
An MMA Management ad from Billboard magazine. Date unknown.
Terri heard “Original Sin” on a “real” radio station for the first time in Tampa- on a commercial station and not a college station. “They are still trying to figure out who Inkses is in Florida, for the most part!”
An Australian friend sent her a nice poster of INXS, and she told me all about it. The Farriss brothers looked stunning. Timmy looked cool. Jon’s hair looked like it did this time last year at the Ritz. Andrew had shaved and looked adorable. “Michael is too busy looking evil, so the heck with him.” Garry looked like he had a cold but his hair looked good. Kirk’s hair was going back to brown. She didn’t like the haircut, “but at least he doesn’t look like a lawn mower’s been in his head! And a new pair of frames-this guy is the Elton John of INXS!”
The back of the poster contained information about the band. The members of INXS chose their favorite songs from The Swing. Kirk chose “I Send A Message” while everyone else chose “Dancing on the Jetty” except for Michael who couldn’t decide.
Everyone but Andrew gave the names of their girlfriends. Terri wrote, “I won’t tell you Kirk’s unless you want me to!” She also wrote about some of the answers the band members gave when asked what their first love was. Tim said Annette Funicello and Garry Gary Beers said surfing and surfboards. Jonathan James Farriss said, “My first orgasm, I guess. When I was fourteen and a half!”
Almost time for my management final. I’ve been up at 5:30am for the past two days because of finals. Tomorrow is the last one and then I have to pack up my shit and hit the trail back home. I’m just so excited. I hope I can stay awake for this exam. Hopefully I can answer the questions.
I want simplicity, doldrum, sleep, boredom, to twiddle my fingers, to watch TV, to avoid thinking, to avoid this.
5/10/84
Last day of finals, last full day in Phila. There must be more important things in life than brand loyalty.
Back in Hillsdale, NJ for the summer
The portion of Hillsdale, NJ that includes my house, Terri’s house, Friendly’s, the supermarkets, library, and my high school.
I had to walk to many places. The supermarkets were half a mile from my house. The Hillsdale Library was three-fourths of a mile away and Terri’s house was another two hundred yards further up the street from the library.
5/11/84
I’m watching MTV. That’s right I’m home. I just got back and already I’m scheduled to work tomorrow and Sunday. Keep thinking of the money-what I can do with it, where I can go.
Saw “Eat It” for the first time. [Music video by Weird Al Yankovic. A parody of Michael Jackson’s “Beat It”] I’m going to miss school. Well maybe not the work. I better get used to not eating. I made myself a hamburger omelet- it was good at least for scrounging. It takes so long to walk to the stores. This is going to be a long, long summer. I hope it doesn’t kill me.
I’m going down to the Meadowlands tonight with Terri and Jess to hang around and maybe see Randy and Eddie Money. I’m dressed to kill in my fedora and Michael Jackson earrings. [Randy was the keyboard player for Eddie Money. Terri and I met him when I was thirteen and Terri was fourteen and we went to Central Park for some soundcheck.]
Randy Nichols, keyboard player for Eddie MoneyEddie Money backstage at the Wollman Ice Rink in Central Park. NYC. Dr Pepper Summer Music Festival. August 9, 1978
5/12/84
11am- Just got out of bed. I could sleep all day, but I have a lot to unpack before I go to work. Urgh. My feet are aching in anticipation.
5/13/84
I’m exhausted. I worked Sat. night until one am. and then today (Mother’s Day) from 12-9. I made $90 which makes it worth it. It wasn’t really hectic tonight. I was managing OK. My brain is in a daze and my body hurts. My feet ache and itch and they swell up after I work.
5/14/84
Ho hum. Going to NY [New York City] tomorrow perhaps to spend money on whatever. I have been spending money so fast because there is so much to buy. I’m becoming manic again. I want to get away from here, but I know I’m stuck for now. I’m looking for a way to be free and hopefully I’ll find it. Mother dear better keep her nose out of my journals.
Showed Terri where Kirk and I ate. Stopped by INXS’ record company. Dirtbag men followed us in Greenwich Village.
5/15/84
Next summer I’m definitely going to stay in Philadelphia. This place is going to drive me nuts. My only desires are becoming food and sleep. There is no privacy here. I can’t live my own life here.
I’m going for a walk as soon as I get dressed. I need to get out. I want to cry again.
I’m in Lisa’s Pizza before I go to Terri’s for a Cosmos meeting. This area is the pits. If I don’t go nuts, I’ll be thankful. I’ve been debating whether or not to buy cigarettes. I bought a Lotto ticket instead.
In Music Merchant [Record store in downtown Westwood, NJ that survived until 2024] some people were trying to decide what record to buy for some kid as a gift. I suggested the Swing. I don’t know why I should bother.
This meeting tonight will probably be boring. I don’t think I’m going to shake my mild depression but at least I’ll be bored and depressed away from home. I don’t belong there. I’m too used to being on my own and now I have to tell mommy where I’m going when I leave the house. I should have been born with money. I know money doesn’t solve all problems, but I would be better off with it than without it.
I wish there was a decent cafe around. Somewhere quiet that I could go to for a cup of coffee and some inspiration. I sound like a member of the coffee generation. [Reference to a “Coffee Achievers” TV commercial for the coffee industry.]
Coffee Achievers video
5/17/84
Eskie [Eskandarian] and Johan [Neeskens] [NY Cosmos soccer players] were at the meeting but I spent the time rewriting the Swing album. I did three songs. I’m beginning to feel panicky about everything. NAUSEA. I am hyper. I just got back from Bamberger’s. [A New Jersey department store owned by Macy’s. All the stores were renamed as Macy’s in 1986] I lost my card, so they gave me a temporary one but the Casio thing I want to buy is out of stock. [Casio portable music keyboard]
I have to save up for tuition. I don’t know what is wrong with me. Now I’m becoming vain about my appearance. I shouldn’t worry because I can’t change what I was born with, and I didn’t get a raw deal so why this urge to look in the mirror all the time? Maybe I’m going through adolescence at the age of 19.
Rewritten songs from The Swing
Dancing on the Jetty video-INXS
Walking off the Jetty [My version]
Why don’t you take a long walk
Off a short pier
Who’s gonna teach you
Teach you how to swim
You could talk forever
Just never get tired
Listen to your words
Find out why you get us down
Long stories, bad jokes
Loud clothing
Go walk off the jetty
Cause we’re sick of you
Why don’t you take a long walk
Off a short pier
Who’s gonna teach you
Teach you how to swim
You told your life story
You started years ago
Prayed like hell that you’d shut your mouth
Another story and I’d kill myself
Bore the world, too sorry
Give anything
for a moment’s silence
We want to stop you from making noise
Nothing but trouble, leave town
Don’t you come back
We hope you got the hint.
INXS Video Melting in the Sun
Lying in the Sun [My version of Melting in the Sun by INXS a la Weird Al Yankovic]
Sung to the tune of Melting in the Sun by INXS
More from the diary
5/18/84
I just got out of work. I go back to work dinner in a couple of hours.
My Michael Jackson t-shirt came out well. Mom and Dan thought I bought it with sunglasses and burning hair.
I hit four numbers the first time I played Lotto. I’m psyched.
I’m back from work. I got a tip from one of my customers that included a balloon cat and mouse. It was great.
5/19/84
A Saturday night off! This event should be marked down in history. I have to eat dinner soon. I’m starving. I’m sitting on the living room couch. Junior [our dog] is lying on the floor next to me and my mother is in the kitchen. Barbara Streisand is blasting on the stereo.
My mother changed the record to Neil Diamond. I bought a Weekly World News at Quick Chek. The headline is “Famed Psychic’s Head Explodes”. The National Examiner had an interesting story about Jesus’ secret life, but I didn’t buy the paper. I think it is owned by Rupert Murdoch, the wealthy Australian newspaper magnate, who wanted to buy Warner Communications. All My Children [my favorite soap opera] had on someone named Hubert Drydoch-I think that he is supposed to be Murdoch because of the accent and the allusions about newspapers and magazines.
[I was wrong about the National Examiner. The tabloid was never owned by Rupert Murdoch. He owned The Star. Read about it on Wikipedia. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Examiner]
Dr. Pepper tastes best when it is warm and flat. Gary Grant is supposed to be back in America sometime in the next couple of days. I had a really severe muscle cramp in my leg last night. I thought I would never be able to use my leg again.
Tonight, I’m going to read my paper, watch Tootsie on TV, and then INXS on MTV. [I don’t know what MTV showed. Maybe the debut of I Send A Message? INXS were in Europe at the time.] Tomorrow is going to be a long day, but I should survive. I hope I’ll get decent tips. I’m only halfway through Nausea. [Book by Jean Paul Sartre] I hope Mom and Carl leave soon. I like having the house to myself.
Cover of the Weekly World News from May 22, 1984
5/20/84
I like my job for the most part. It is just very painful to the feet and back. To most people there I am still a baby. I’m not supposed to know about sex and all of the other grownup things. I’m too young. They should think back to the time when they were my age. Some of them were already married. My job is less frustrating and easier than last summer. I even found out when I was home for Christmas that I could handle five tables no sweat. Now that it has gotten easier, it is also more profitable.
5/22/84
I was just at the Emerson Hotel nine hours ago and I’m going back in another hour to work lunch.
I would rather be reading
5/23/84
I slept so late this morning. Carl is home. [My mother’s husband. The guy who owned the Ho-Ho-Kus bakery.] I’m so tired. I bought my Casio thing yesterday. I have to figure it out. Junior is barking now. He is such a pain. One minute he wants in and then out again. I hope I get my paycheck from school sometime soon. This town is getting boring. I need to find a place to go away from here where I can sit and think or read. Maybe the library is open. Maybe I can go see a movie tonight.
I wonder if I am sane. I was walking backwards down the railroad tracks singing earlier this afternoon. I went to the bank and just made it into Friendly’s before it started to pour. The lightning was really close. It scared the shit out of me. I had a cup of coffee and now I’m at the library. I brought my backpack just in case I found some books to take out.
There are so many things I should read and learn and know about that it all gets overwhelming. Insignificant things like working to earn a living and sleeping get in the way.
[Friendly’s was an ice cream place with food that was half a mile from my house. The one in Hillsdale closed and is now a Chipotle.]
Modeling doesn’t sound so great
5/24/84
Lunch was sooo dead today. I only made ten dollars. I have to go back in two hours and work 5-10. I’m working in the middle, so I have two big tables and three little ones. I hope I’m not run to the ground tonight although I would like to make some money.
I told them about my school job. They listened to me like I was E.F. Hutton. I guess because I don’t talk much. I don’t know why they expect me to talk more. What am I supposed to say? Frank and Toni always tell me to shut up because I’m talking too much or giving them a headache. They must tell me this at least ten times a day. It’s getting on my nerves.
I read a book about modeling, and I don’t know if I want to be bothered that much. Every part of your body has to look perfect. You have to get test shots and then maybe you’ll get some work, but it is long hours. I don’t know how much money it takes before I would even get work. My waist is too thick. The book talks about how guys that are halfway decent are almost impossible to find if you are a model. How about decent guys are hard to find period? Everyone tells me how lucky I am not to have a boyfriend. Freida, Joanne, and even my grandmother approves of not having one.
Well, I’m not a millionaire this week. I only got one number. I might have been a bit richer if we weren’t on pool. I had eight tables, and we were busy. I worked extremely hard and I’m tired. On one twelve-dollar check the people left me a twenty-dollar tip. That has to be the best tip I’ll ever get. I had to give it in to the pool. I’m expected back at work in eleven hours. Tomorrow, hopefully it will be busy for two hours then I can get paid and leave. I’ve certainly changed. Work is not as bad as it used to be, and I’ve become almost ambitious.
5/26/84
I try to convince myself that school is worth the cost. I’m sure I won’t regret it later so I can’t be too impulsive now. I went to a store on Route 4 and played with some keyboards. Today’s technology blows me away. It is so cool.
5/27/84
It’s good to be home. Work was long, slow, boring, and not very profitable. I’m tired from standing around all day. At least I got out around 8:15 and didn’t have to do ketchups. I had to eat Cornish hen because they didn’t sell any. Yuck. Everyone has been giving me compliments on how good a waitress I am. Barbara is back for the weekend and then she goes back to school for the summer. A new girl named Valerie is starting on Tuesday. I’m still the youngest there. Joanne thought I was about 22. I’d like to be 21 so I could do anything I want without a hassle. Tomorrow, we have to be in at 4:45 in case the rush starts early (if there is any).
I must stop thinking before I depress myself. I can see where drugs might come in handy at times like these-to forget everything: good, bad, or otherwise.
[The restaurant used to have bottles of ketchup on the tables and we would have to fill them up by pouring the ketchup from almost empty bottles into half-full ones to fill them up. I didn’t like to do this task.]
