This post contains diary entries and a letter. There is information about the Australian rock band, INXS, and about what I was doing, thinking, and feeling. 

Working graveyard shifts

It’s towards the end of spring semester of my sophomore year in college. I am working at my work-study job for West Campus which oversees the student dorms in the western part of Penn’s campus. That includes the three high-rise apartment buildings where I worked and lived. 

Here are a couple of diary entries from when I was working the overnight (graveyard) shift at the desk in the lobby of one of the high-rise buildings. There was an intercom system that broadcast into the stairwells that could be switched on at the desk. There was a hand-held microphone at the desk that was part of the system. It was there for fire safety. During fire alarms, the students were trained to leave their rooms and wait in the stairwells. The intercom could be used to tell them to evacuate the building if it was necessary. Usually, it was used to tell them to remain in the stairwell. 

4/27/84

Another night, another graveyard. INXS is keeping me awake tonight. Now I’m playing with the mike and singing to the lobby. A guy with a New Order and Bauhaus tape left me the case and took my INXS one. He said I had a pretty good voice and asked if I was in a band.

All the weirdos are out tonight. Some guy wanted to know if I did crank. I said no and he said, “what are you doing tonight?” Nada. INXS and Dr. Pepper make for a natural high. 

Time to wake up Ralph-he’s coming in to replace me at 4. Someone showed me a death star instead of ID. Very comforting.

4/28/84

I’m at work again. I’ll be at work later tonight. Hopefully I won’t be incoherent by the time I finish tomorrow.

It’s graveyard time again. I’ll probably be incoherent soon. At 2am it will instantly be 3. 

It’s 5am and I’ve lost it completely. Don just left. We had an interesting conversation. I bought a pizza at a discount. I don’t know why because I ate three pieces and gave the rest away and it cost five dollars. Someone could sell me the Brooklyn Bridge at this point.

A guy claiming to be a social worker almost duped me. Luckily, Victor was around because he found out that the number the guy was calling was for a Honda dealership. The guy left. I am very stupid when it comes to believing people.

I don’t think I’ll remember anything if I study. Just have to keep awake. I’m glad the elevators are here to swallow up the people as soon as they come in. I wonder if my saying I like graveyards is a form of relieving dissonance. I don’t think so because I do like the peace and quiet. I’m the owner of the building. I’m in charge-I put my feet on the desk and blast music. It’s all mine. People think I’m crazy when I say I have fun. I’m getting paid for hanging out and having a private party. I only have to stay awake to make sure that only Penn jerks get in and not jerks off the street. 

I’ve been up for 17 hours. That’s not even close to a record. Why it’s nothing really. I should be sharp as a knife. I think I own a dull blade.

The sun is peeking out from the horizon. This dawn used to be sunset in Australia. It’s amazing what a little light does to me. Sunrises are amazing. 

It’s fun whirling in my chair. If I ever become an executive- God forbid, I want a chair I can spin around in. 

I’m ruining my teeth drinking all this Dr. Pee Pee. Here comes Mr. Sunshine. Here comes Mr. Rainwater. Here come the Anarchittys running up the street.

The trees are a nice color green today. I don’t want to study my schoolwork. I want to be rich. I want to go traveling. Gonna blast some German music. [Falco] I wish I knew the words. My bladder is becoming really efficient because of this job. There’s a funky pigeon outside the door. I’m having a Dr. Pepper overdose. When I go home this summer, I’m going to have nicotine and pepper withdrawal.

4/29/84

It seems these past couple of days I was either sleeping or at work.  

Well, I just got up, so it is off to work in a few. 

Original Sin finally debuted on the charts here at #87. 

I’m getting depressed. I have to figure out a way to get out of lunches at the Emerson Hotel. Fran is going into the hospital, so they’ll probably want me to work as soon as I get back. Terrific. I just have to think of the money. The whole thing is depressing.

I spoke to Mom on the phone. It doesn’t help my mood at all. Sleep will be good tonight. I’m so tired. I won’t dream. I won’t think. I’ll have an eight-hour vacation from this world.

The weather is nice. A cool breeze is coming in through the door. Danny is getting a computer. I might be able to use it over the summer. 

Chris invited me to an EST meeting on Tuesday. I haven’t gotten mail in two or three weeks. I want my Trouser Press. I have to subscribe to it again.

5/1/84

Another graveyard. This one hasn’t been much fun. It is 6:20am. I want to die. I have so much work to do.

I went to an EST guest seminar, and everyone gives me the hard sell to do the training. I don’t know. I feel like hell.

5/3/84

It is 2pm and I’m about to take a nap because of a graveyard tonight.  

I’ve been keeping weird hours. I worked graveyard Tuesday then slept from 8-3 then stayed up until midnight and got up at seven this morning for my Sociology final which went OK. I got my paycheck today.

Some woman from EST called here to talk to me. I don’t know how she got my number, but they better stop bothering me. 

5/4/84

Nan just told me that the light under the desk was on meaning that everything going on at the desk was being broadcast into the stairwells- how embarrassing. A girl came down from the stairwell while I was playing INXS and singing to it and she said I had a good voice so it must have been on then. I wondered how she was able to hear me. It was bound to happen sooner or later. A total of about seven people offered to get me coffee or breakfast. I never expected so many considerate people to be around.

5/5/84

It is almost 10 pm and once again I am behind the desk. My feet are vibrating because they are on top of the refrigerator. I’m listening to the Swing. I made a special trip downtown to buy it. I told Chip from WQHS it was a great album so maybe they will play it. I should be getting paid for PR work.

Letter from Terri

A letter from Terri who was still in school in Florida arrived. It seems to be the last letter from her for the next few months. We were both about to go back to New Jersey for the summer, so we didn’t need to communicate by mail once that happened. 

Terri gave me news about INXS. She said that “The Swing” was supposed to be out in a few days. One of her pen pals in Australia recorded it on cassette for her so she had already listened to it and said it was great.

Gary Grant was still in Australia, so she was not able to speak to him when she called Atco Records. The receptionist finally put her through to someone else and whoever it was said that “there was nothing definite, but there was talk of a spring tour with the Cars. If they plan to come in OUR spring, they better get something settled soon!!”

A friend of hers left for Australia so Terri told her about Gary Grant and gave her the address for their office in Sydney so she could go there if she had a chance. I don’t know if she actually did.

Terri heard “Original Sin” on a “real” radio station for the first time in Tampa- on a commercial station and not a college station. “They are still trying to figure out who Inkses is in Florida, for the most part!”

An Australian friend sent her a nice poster of INXS, and she told me all about it. The Farriss brothers looked stunning. Timmy looked cool. Jon’s hair looked like it did this time last year at the Ritz. Andrew had shaved and looked adorable. “Michael is too busy looking evil, so the heck with him.” Garry looked like he had a cold but his hair looked good. Kirk’s hair was going back to brown. She didn’t like the haircut, “but at least he doesn’t look like a lawn mower’s been in his head! And a new pair of frames-this guy is the Elton John of INXS!”

The back of the poster contained information about the band. The members of INXS chose their favorite songs from The Swing. Kirk chose “I Send A Message” while everyone else chose “Dancing on the Jetty” except for Michael who couldn’t decide. 

Everyone but Andrew gave the names of their girlfriends. Terri wrote, “I won’t tell you Kirk’s unless you want me to!” She also wrote about some of the answers the band members gave when asked what their first love was. Tim said Annette Funicello and Garry Gary Beers said surfing and surfboards. Jonathan James Farriss said, “My first orgasm, I guess. When I was fourteen and a half!” 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wX6NeYHVWuk Video of Annette Funicello

5/9/84

Almost time for my management final. I’ve been up at 5:30am for the past two days because of finals. Tomorrow is the last one and then I have to pack up my shit and hit the trail back home. I’m just so excited. I hope I can stay awake for this exam. Hopefully I can answer the questions.

I want simplicity, doldrum, sleep, boredom, to twiddle my fingers, to watch TV, to avoid thinking, to avoid this.

5/10/84

Last day of finals, last full day in Phila. There must be more important things in life than brand loyalty.

Back in Hillsdale, NJ for the summer

I had to walk to many places. The supermarkets were half a mile from my house. The Hillsdale Library was three-fourths of a mile away and Terri’s house was another two hundred yards further up the street from the library.

5/11/84

I’m watching MTV. That’s right I’m home. I just got back and already I’m scheduled to work tomorrow and Sunday. Keep thinking of the money-what I can do with it, where I can go.

Saw “Eat It” for the first time. [Music video by Weird Al Yankovic. A parody of Michael Jackson’s “Beat It”] I’m going to miss school. Well maybe not the work. I better get used to not eating. I made myself a hamburger omelet- it was good at least for scrounging. It takes so long to walk to the stores. This is going to be a long, long summer. I hope it doesn’t kill me.

I’m going down to the Meadowlands tonight with Terri and Jess to hang around and maybe see Randy and Eddie Money. I’m dressed to kill in my fedora and Michael Jackson earrings. [Randy was the keyboard player for Eddie Money. Terri and I met him when I was thirteen and Terri was fourteen and we went to Central Park for some soundcheck.]

5/12/84

11am- Just got out of bed. I could sleep all day, but I have a lot to unpack before I go to work. Urgh. My feet are aching in anticipation.

5/13/84

I’m exhausted. I worked Sat. night until one am. and then today (Mother’s Day) from 12-9. I made $90 which makes it worth it. It wasn’t really hectic tonight. I was managing OK. My brain is in a daze and my body hurts. My feet ache and itch and they swell up after I work. 

5/14/84

Ho hum. Going to NY [New York City] tomorrow perhaps to spend money on whatever. I have been spending money so fast because there is so much to buy. I’m becoming manic again. I want to get away from here, but I know I’m stuck for now. I’m looking for a way to be free and hopefully I’ll find it. Mother dear better keep her nose out of my journals.

Showed Terri where Kirk and I ate. Stopped by INXS’ record company. Dirtbag men followed us in Greenwich Village.

5/15/84

Next summer I’m definitely going to stay in Philadelphia. This place is going to drive me nuts. My only desires are becoming food and sleep. There is no privacy here. I can’t live my own life here. 

I went shopping in the city today. I bought some cool shoes, a couple of pocketbooks, t-shirts, and assorted other things. I have a headache now. We passed the Milford Plaza and Beefsteak Charlies, and I showed Terri where we sat. We also spent some time and energy searching out the Power Station. We went to Atco but no word. We hit the village and saw lots of interesting looking people. We caught the attention of a couple of skeevs who followed us for a block but finally left when we ducked into a store to get away from them.

5/16/84

I’m going for a walk as soon as I get dressed. I need to get out. I want to cry again.

I’m in Lisa’s Pizza before I go to Terri’s for a Cosmos meeting. This area is the pits. If I don’t go nuts, I’ll be thankful. I’ve been debating whether or not to buy cigarettes. I bought a Lotto ticket instead. 

In Music Merchant [Record store in downtown Westwood, NJ that survived until 2024] some people were trying to decide what record to buy for some kid as a gift. I suggested the Swing. I don’t know why I should bother. 

This meeting tonight will probably be boring. I don’t think I’m going to shake my mild depression but at least I’ll be bored and depressed away from home. I don’t belong there. I’m too used to being on my own and now I have to tell mommy where I’m going when I leave the house. I should have been born with money. I know money doesn’t solve all problems, but I would be better off with it than without it.

I wish there was a decent cafe around. Somewhere quiet that I could go to for a cup of coffee and some inspiration. I sound like a member of the coffee generation. [Reference to a “Coffee Achievers” TV commercial for the coffee industry.]

Coffee Achievers video

5/17/84

Eskie [Eskandarian] and Johan [Neeskens] [NY Cosmos soccer players] were at the meeting but I spent the time rewriting the Swing album. I did three songs. I’m beginning to feel panicky about everything. NAUSEA. I am hyper. I just got back from Bamberger’s. [A New Jersey department store owned by Macy’s. All the stores were renamed as Macy’s in 1986] I lost my card, so they gave me a temporary one but the Casio thing I want to buy is out of stock. [Casio portable music keyboard] 

I have to save up for tuition. I don’t know what is wrong with me. Now I’m becoming vain about my appearance. I shouldn’t worry because I can’t change what I was born with, and I didn’t get a raw deal so why this urge to look in the mirror all the time? Maybe I’m going through adolescence at the age of 19.

Rewritten songs from The Swing

Dancing on the Jetty video-INXS

Walking off the Jetty [My version]

Why don’t you take a long walk 

Off a short pier 

Who’s gonna teach you 

Teach you how to swim

You could talk forever 

Just never get tired 

Listen to your words 

Find out why you get us down 

Long stories, bad jokes

Loud clothing 

Go walk off the jetty 

Cause we’re sick of you

Why don’t you take a long walk 

Off a short pier 

Who’s gonna teach you 

Teach you how to swim

You told your life story 

You started years ago 

Prayed like hell that you’d shut your mouth 

Another story and I’d kill myself

Bore the world, too sorry 

Give anything 

for a moment’s silence

We want to stop you from making noise 

Nothing but trouble, leave town 

Don’t you come back 

We hope you got the hint.

INXS Video Melting in the Sun

Lying in the Sun [My version of Melting in the Sun by INXS a la Weird Al Yankovic]

More from the diary

5/18/84

I just got out of work. I go back to work dinner in a couple of hours.   

I’m hyperactive again but I’m not depressed because I’m raking in the dough, and I got a nice letter from Jackie Fuhrmann. [I still have this letter. Jackie wrote about how she was planning to come visit once she knew when INXS would be touring the east coast. She also asked me if I had heard from Kirk Pengilly again. She asked me that every time she wrote. But no, I only heard from him that one time back in November 1983] Tonight, when I get home, I have to write to Jackie and Jen. 

My Michael Jackson t-shirt came out well. Mom and Dan thought I bought it with sunglasses and burning hair. 

I hit four numbers the first time I played Lotto. I’m psyched.

I’m back from work. I got a tip from one of my customers that included a balloon cat and mouse. It was great.

5/19/84

A Saturday night off! This event should be marked down in history. I have to eat dinner soon. I’m starving. I’m sitting on the living room couch. Junior [our dog] is lying on the floor next to me and my mother is in the kitchen. Barbara Streisand is blasting on the stereo.

My mother changed the record to Neil Diamond. I bought a Weekly World News at Quick Chek. The headline is “Famed Psychic’s Head Explodes”. The National Examiner had an interesting story about Jesus’ secret life, but I didn’t buy the paper. I think it is owned by Rupert Murdoch, the wealthy Australian newspaper magnate, who wanted to buy Warner Communications. All My Children [my favorite soap opera] had on someone named Hubert Drydoch-I think that he is supposed to be Murdoch because of the accent and the allusions about newspapers and magazines. 

[I was wrong about the National Examiner. The tabloid was never owned by Rupert Murdoch. He owned The Star. Read about it on Wikipedia. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Examiner]

Dr. Pepper tastes best when it is warm and flat. Gary Grant is supposed to be back in America sometime in the next couple of days. I had a really severe muscle cramp in my leg last night. I thought I would never be able to use my leg again.

Tonight, I’m going to read my paper, watch Tootsie on TV, and then INXS on MTV. [I don’t know what MTV showed. Maybe the debut of I Send A Message? INXS were in Europe at the time.] Tomorrow is going to be a long day, but I should survive. I hope I’ll get decent tips. I’m only halfway through Nausea. [Book by Jean Paul Sartre] I hope Mom and Carl leave soon. I like having the house to myself.

5/20/84

I like my job for the most part. It is just very painful to the feet and back. To most people there I am still a baby. I’m not supposed to know about sex and all of the other grownup things. I’m too young. They should think back to the time when they were my age. Some of them were already married. My job is less frustrating and easier than last summer. I even found out when I was home for Christmas that I could handle five tables no sweat. Now that it has gotten easier, it is also more profitable.

5/22/84

I was just at the Emerson Hotel nine hours ago and I’m going back in another hour to work lunch.

I would rather be reading

5/23/84

I slept so late this morning. Carl is home. [My mother’s husband. The guy who owned the Ho-Ho-Kus bakery.]  I’m so tired. I bought my Casio thing yesterday. I have to figure it out. Junior is barking now. He is such a pain. One minute he wants in and then out again. I hope I get my paycheck from school sometime soon. This town is getting boring. I need to find a place to go away from here where I can sit and think or read. Maybe the library is open. Maybe I can go see a movie tonight.

I wonder if I am sane. I was walking backwards down the railroad tracks singing earlier this afternoon. I went to the bank and just made it into Friendly’s before it started to pour. The lightning was really close. It scared the shit out of me. I had a cup of coffee and now I’m at the library. I brought my backpack just in case I found some books to take out. 

There are so many things I should read and learn and know about that it all gets overwhelming. Insignificant things like working to earn a living and sleeping get in the way. 

[Friendly’s was an ice cream place with food that was half a mile from my house. The one in Hillsdale closed and is now a Chipotle.]

Modeling doesn’t sound so great

5/24/84

Lunch was sooo dead today. I only made ten dollars. I have to go back in two hours and work 5-10. I’m working in the middle, so I have two big tables and three little ones. I hope I’m not run to the ground tonight although I would like to make some money. 

I told them about my school job. They listened to me like I was E.F. Hutton. I guess because I don’t talk much. I don’t know why they expect me to talk more. What am I supposed to say? Frank and Toni always tell me to shut up because I’m talking too much or giving them a headache. They must tell me this at least ten times a day. It’s getting on my nerves.

I read a book about modeling, and I don’t know if I want to be bothered that much. Every part of your body has to look perfect. You have to get test shots and then maybe you’ll get some work, but it is long hours. I don’t know how much money it takes before I would even get work. My waist is too thick. The book talks about how guys that are halfway decent are almost impossible to find if you are a model. How about decent guys are hard to find period? Everyone tells me how lucky I am not to have a boyfriend. Freida, Joanne, and even my grandmother approves of not having one.

Well, I’m not a millionaire this week. I only got one number. I might have been a bit richer if we weren’t on pool. I had eight tables, and we were busy. I worked extremely hard and I’m tired. On one twelve-dollar check the people left me a twenty-dollar tip. That has to be the best tip I’ll ever get. I had to give it in to the pool. I’m expected back at work in eleven hours. Tomorrow, hopefully it will be busy for two hours then I can get paid and leave. I’ve certainly changed. Work is not as bad as it used to be, and I’ve become almost ambitious.

5/26/84

I try to convince myself that school is worth the cost. I’m sure I won’t regret it later so I can’t be too impulsive now. I went to a store on Route 4 and played with some keyboards. Today’s technology blows me away. It is so cool.

5/27/84

It’s good to be home. Work was long, slow, boring, and not very profitable. I’m tired from standing around all day. At least I got out around 8:15 and didn’t have to do ketchups. I had to eat Cornish hen because they didn’t sell any. Yuck. Everyone has been giving me compliments on how good a waitress I am. Barbara is back for the weekend and then she goes back to school for the summer. A new girl named Valerie is starting on Tuesday. I’m still the youngest there. Joanne thought I was about 22. I’d like to be 21 so I could do anything I want without a hassle. Tomorrow, we have to be in at 4:45 in case the rush starts early (if there is any). 

I must stop thinking before I depress myself. I can see where drugs might come in handy at times like these-to forget everything: good, bad, or otherwise.

[The restaurant used to have bottles of ketchup on the tables and we would have to fill them up by pouring the ketchup from almost empty bottles into half-full ones to fill them up. I didn’t like to do this task.]