Sexism, Bruhs, and Rock n Roll

Tag: Cosmos

Blog Post 13- INXS concert June 28, 1984

Michael Hutchence, INXS, July 1984, Photo by Jackie

Where I left off:

Sophomore year of college has ended, and I have returned to Hillsdale, New Jersey for the summer. I’m waitressing at the Emerson Hotel (which is not a hotel but only a restaurant) for the second summer in a row. My friends and I are waiting for word on when INXS will tour.

5/29/84

I just pigged out on Doritos and two candy bars. Now Frank keeps telling me I’m going to get fat. No way. I’ve been working a lot and also doing stretching and exercise as well. I just have to get a haircut and I’ll look great.

Meatballs is on TV. I’m reading the Weekly World News. I’m getting slightly bored. I shouldn’t have eaten so much. I’m drinking Dr. Pepper to stay awake.

I got out of work late today. The party wasn’t too much work. I made $21 today.

I’m still waiting to get paid from the school. Hopefully the financial aid thing will come soon so I know how much I need to save this summer. Then when I’ve saved that I can buy things.

Time to go to bed. After tomorrow I will have worked seven days straight. Kim B has broken my 100m record. [One of my high school track records.] It makes me nauseous.

The trailer for Meatballs from 1979

More diary entries

In this entry I am sitting in Friendly’s eating a Sunday for some of the time. I mention opening a bank account because I had to hide my tip money from my brother (not Danny). This brother would steal various things like my coin collection or money so he could buy pot (marijuana). He would also eat the food that I bought. During both summers I was home waitressing I hid money in a suitcase in my closet-much of it was in dollar bills.

5/30/84

For the third day in a row the weather has been for the ducks and other amphibious creatures. I just saw Mr. DeCaro in Westwood. [A teacher from my high school.] I’m surprised he recognized me.

Sammy (one of the Albanian kitchen workers) kept saying “You get mashed potatoes for lunch”. He made sure I’d get some because I didn’t yesterday. He is nice. I still don’t understand him half of the time like when I was leaving, he said something about plants or something. Who knows?

David [Head cook at the Emerson Hotel] is starting in again with the still waters run deep stuff. Now I’m a prostitute in NY on my days off. Alicia [a fellow waitress] is the only one David treats halfway nicely, and he does it to get whoever he can steamed about it. He fed her Veal Parm a couple of times.

I should open a bank account and get my money out of the house.

Original Sin made it into the 50s and is now falling.

I’m at Friendly’s now. Another fit of hyperactivity and a whipped cream craving brought me here.

Gary Grant called Terri today. It seems that June is the month. I wonder what the future will bring?

Oh gee, I think life is just too exciting for me. I pity the people who work here. If I had to deal with all of these definite psychopaths every day, I don’t know what I’d do. They probably think I’m one of them. At least I’m quiet.

At least where I work, they’re too old to be rowdy. Too much excitement and they’d probably have a stroke. I should check out the parking lot in front of Medi Mart to see the lake.

Hillsdale is such a beat town. Two rednecks followed me in Music Merchant today. Where are all the real men? If I get some definite plans soon, I can arrange for days off. I love when people in jogging suits come in for a sundae.

David was saying how Alicia came in and told everyone she played the flute. The skin flute? These people must make garbage money. There’s another lone girl drinking coffee and smoking.

5/31/84

I said I wasn’t going to waste time, but it is three o’clock and I’ve done nothing. I just went to Quick Chek [a convenience store near Friendly’s. Half a mile from my house] to get lunch. Maybe I’ll go for a long walk later. I slept until after noon. It was so cold and dark outside I just couldn’t get out of bed. That is a habit I must break if I want to make the best use of my time. I made an appointment to get my haircut on Saturday.

I went up to PV [Pascack Valley High School where I went to school. Eight-tenths of a mile from my house] and looked to see if the record board was on the wall. It wasn’t. I jumped over a hurdle a few times and took a couple of long jumps. I jumped almost fourteen feet in my estimation. That’s pretty good for not having trained for two years and for wearing pants. There’s junk on TV as usual. I’m watching Oh Heavenly Dog. On my second walk I watched a rabbit eat.

6/1/84

I’m going to see Breakin’ today. I spoke to Terri on the phone recalling past stupidity over the wire like when someone called for Nora and I said, “She’s not here right now”. “When will she be back?” “Actually, she doesn’t live here”.

Breakin’ had good dancing but not much plot and terrible acting.

INXS is going to be here in the next two or three weeks. They have a date in Seattle on June 21.

I’m kind of depressed. I’m going to sleep now.

Trailer for Breakin’

Jean Paul Sartre and a new haircut

I needed to cut all my permed hair off because it looked like this. This photo also shows the hat I wore to the first INXS concert I went to in 1984. More on that soon.

At Jes’ house in 1983. Old photo. Donna. Sometime after start of sophomore year at Penn.

6/2/84

It’s almost time to get my haircut. My hair will probably never be this long again. I hope it turns out nice.

I finally finished Nausea. Roquentin’s life is over even though he is still alive because he has discovered that existence is meaningless. He thinks he is superfluous. “Every existing thing is born without reason, prolongs itself out of weakness, and dies by chance.”

A YouTube video about Jean Paul Sartre’s novel, “Nausea.” I chose this video because it features a real person and isn’t created or narrated by AI.

6/3/84

Another Sunday over and done with. In twelve hours, I will be back working. I hope I don’t have dreams where I wait on people all night like last night. Everyone has complimented me on my haircut. It is very short, but I like it a lot. I have to see how punky it can get.

One table of Joanne’s was very nice. The woman said I could be a model pretty much because I am tall. “Tall is in”, she said. I suppose I can stop in at Reinhard’s [the Philly modeling agency] when I get back to school. It couldn’t hurt. I’d like to do a commercial or get into acting maybe. I wonder where I’ll be when I’m forty.

After the haircut

My new haircut. I am next to my brother Danny.

Mostly entries about work

I’ve included these to give an idea of what my job was like and how much money I made. Also to show that I did not have my own car and I had to share the cars with my mother and my mother’s husband, Carl. He had a vintage Mercedes that he brought to the marriage. He was not at all wealthy though. As a baker, he worked long hours and very hard, but he made very little profit. My mother was the primary wage earner. She was a chemist at a paper company.

6/4/84

I just got my grades. 2 Bs and a C. I passed management and got a C in Buyer Behavior. Those were the only ones I was worried about. My GPA is a 2.5 now which is decent.

Some guy was choking today. Jackie [a fellow waitress] tried to help him, but she wasn’t strong enough. Some man gave him the Heimlich maneuver and got the food out.

Yesterday, the police and ambulance were there because some old lady looked like she had an attack. She was OK too. It was a decent lunch today-$23. Usually, I only make about $15. I was worried this morning that I wouldn’t get to work because Carl took the car somewhere, but I made it.

I just went up to the track and ran a mile in 7:06. I’m not in terrible shape but I’ll be sore tomorrow. I saw Mr. Heinz [a teacher from my high school and one of my track coaches] and he told me that Kim B broke my 100 and long jump records. Heinz thinks it will take two more years for her to break the rest of them.

6/6/84

I hate working parties at lunch. Alice [my boss] wanted me to work on Friday, but I said no because I’m going to be up all of Thursday night. [Going to see Thomas Dolby in concert.] Alice is such a bitch. She doesn’t tell us anything and then chides us when we make a mistake. Jimmy (the owner) was getting on my nerves too. I don’t like people talking condescendingly to me. David (the cook) got on my nerves too. I want to get my ear double pierced tonight. Terri was bothering me about getting my hair cut short, but I told her to shut up until she sees it tomorrow.

6/7/84

Good morning. Off from work at last!

I went to Nanuet last night and got my right ear double pierced. People lie when they say it doesn’t hurt. I also bought a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. I’m listening to Taking Tiger Mountain, the Brian Eno tape I bought yesterday. All of his records are the lowest price on the chart at Music Merchant.

Mom better not be getting nosy in my stuff because it is not her business. If she does then no way am I coming back to live here again if I can help it. Time to eat and watch the soaps. I have an hour to kill before I have to be at Terri’s.

Thomas Dolby concert & INXS is coming soon!

6/8/84

In three weeks, they are here. [INXS] June 28 at Radio City. June 30 at Jones Beach and July 2 at Holmdel.

The concert last night wasn’t as good as the other one I saw. It was too hot and sticky and hard to see. I’m sure that girl keyboard player is a transvestite. If she isn’t then she is an extremely ugly girl. My stomach acted up on me again. I missed Windpower because I had to go to the bathroom.

Terri and Jess seem to be sticks in the mud. I’ll deal with it if the time comes to.  Driving in NYC is enough to give anyone an ulcer or heart attack. The drivers are crazy. We drove through Harlem, and it was really sad.  Some places looked like they’d been bombed. We drove past an open fire hydrant and Terri said “Open the window” so I did, and we got soaked. She was only kidding but I’ll do just about anything if it is suggested.

Windpower video

Soccer

6/10/84

It has been a long day. It went by like it was three days instead of ten hours. I didn’t make much money today. My tables were cheap tippers. I told people I was getting a tattoo because Toni [a fellow waitress] is my idol. I was afraid to ask Alice for days off, but I did it and she marked it down in the book. I used Jackie Fuhrmann as my excuse.

It is so fucking hot. I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep well tonight. Yesterday was the Sting game. Karl Heinz Granitza gave us some tickets and so did Seninho. Karl Heinz gave his jersey to Terri. The Sting left right after the game. We hung out and then went to the Front Row and talked.

My dad was a psycho

6/12/84

I woke up early today because Mom needed a ride to work. She is going to be away until Friday. I drove the Mercedes for the first time. It is easy to handle but it moves by itself, and I get startled every time it shifts gears on its own.

Yesterday, Danny drove me into Westwood. I went to Berkeley elementary school. It is a lot smaller than I remember. Of course, everything looks big when you are small. I can’t imagine myself that short. I went down by the brook and saw the waterfall. There was a no trespassing sign and a bunch of geese. I thought they were patrolling the property because they came towards me when I stepped on the grass. I don’t know why I was afraid of them. They don’t even have teeth. I walked back home and then ate dinner. I have to get out of the house when everyone else is there.

I went to the diner with Danny and Steven Flood. I think we were a bit loud while we were there. We were reminiscing. We talked about the old neighborhood in Westwood. We talked about the crazy and delinquent things that we did and about how psychotic my father was. We went driving in NY state and then came back here. We brought back Bill with us. He is also a busboy at the diner.

We played a game of Trivial Pursuit. Steven won with the help of a few lucky guesses. I came in second. Danny finally came in third at 2:30 in the morning.

I think I will close tonight at work. I don’t mind because I get a break to eat. Everyone there keeps saying how I talk more now and I’m getting wise. I can talk to other people easier. I’m more friendly than I used to be.

More harassment in New York City

6/13/84

I’m getting a taste of the days when there was no electricity. There was a huge storm when I was in NYC, and I guess that caused a power outage. I don’t think people ate Chef Boyardee mini ravioli in those days. I’m writing by candlelight-how romantic.

Terri and I went into the city to shop for clothes. I bought shoes, shorts, a dress, and some tops. It was hot earlier. Terri wore shorts but she regretted it when the comments and looks started. I bought a bird whistle from a man with one arm, and I decided to give it to Garry Gary for his birthday. Terri bought James Lee a red shirt and is going to put Stay Young on it and give it to Timmy. Someone gave me grapes for free and some other people offered us coffee. I don’t know why.

Working Tuesday night was a bitch. I got stuck with a lot of parties at one point. I had a fucking jerkoff table of six that left me $4.50 on a $70 check. Dicks.

I have to copy some good Ed Anger phrases so I can remember like “I’m sicker than a hog with a belly full of wild onions” and “Madder than Richard Simmons with a run in his leotard.”

I don’t think I would be able to survive without electricity. I’m too accustomed to it by now. I can still play my Casio because it has batteries.

Financial Aid

6/14/84

Someone is paving our driveway, and it is very noisy. I made a lot of money in May, but I haven’t saved much. I should enter the MTV party house contest. I would win a house in Indiana! Oh wow! Then me and John Mellencamp would paint the mother pink.

I don’t think I’ll ever be satisfied with my wardrobe. I still need something decent to wear. The dress I bought was too small and I don’t like it. My stomach is a pain. I don’t look good in some things because of it and buying pants and skirts is a pain. I’m not satisfied with much of anything today.

I got the good news from the school. The grand total for my fine institution is $15,200. [That’s equivalent to about $47,400 in 2025.] I have to come up with $1300. [I paid a share determined by the university. My mother paid a share determined by the university. The rest was covered by financial aid, grants, and student loans.] That’s not too bad. I’ll have that in two weeks.

I finished reading 1984. It is a great book. I don’t know how easily I would succumb to doublethink. I did solve a mystery because of that book. I read about the snakes and ladders game which in this country is called chutes and ladders. I’m restless again. I feel like going for a walk or staying up all night.

A video about Chutes and Ladders. George Orwell’s novel, “1984”, mentions a game called Snakes and Ladders and I was able to deduce that the game was the same as the one in America called Chutes and Ladders. The INXS song “Melting in the Sun” has the lyric, “take a snake or take a ladder” and now I knew what that lyric meant. I had never heard of Snakes and Ladders before.

6/16/84

Bridget [fellow waitress] was encouraging about my future. She said I would get a new wardrobe, a good job, make lots of money, take vacations. I guess I should want that. I don’t know. She was encouraging me to go to Florida. [To see INXS in concert.] I suppose I could afford another trip.

I bought gray pants today. I have my outfit for Radio City. I keep going back and forth between thinking I look good and thinking I look awful.  People are overly critical about their own looks. I saw Kathy [member of my high school track team] where I bought the pants. She works there doing the same thing as Terri-straightening out the racks and shit. We don’t have much in common besides track.

6/17/84

Home at last. Work sucked as it usually does on Sunday. I forgot Dad on this Father’s Day. Out of sight, out of mind.

6/18/84

Jackie will be here a week from tomorrow. I might go to Florida. [To see INXS in concert.] I have enough money for school, so I just need money for Florida. I’m going to see Ghostbusters tonight. There is too much to do. I want to be wealthy-then I wouldn’t have to work and could spend time on more important things.

Fun in New York City

6/19/84

Tomorrow I’m going into the city again. We are going to check out Canal St. I have a month to save the money for Florida.

6/20/84

I’m so tired. I got a message that Alice [my boss] called. She must have called this morning, but I’ve been in the city all day. I didn’t get back until 11:30pm.

I met Dana, the INXS Alliance girl. She has a job with the booking agent for The Go-Gos. That is a good job to have. I can’t afford to have a job just for making connections.

I’m not in the best of moods right now. It’s the usual anxiety attack.

I’m listening to a Chinese tape that I bought in Chinatown. I had fun today. I bought some earrings that mean happiness in Chinese. The owner translated all of the earrings for us. I also bought a Chinese mask. I got my fortune at a Buddhist temple for 50 cents. It says-“Probability of Success- excellent. Wherever in the world you may travel, some mystery you sure will unravel. A simple mallet dug out from gravel may turn to be a president’s gavel.” Some Chinese woman got me to buy four chicken sandwiches for her.

I met a guy who works security during concerts in the city. He will be doing Michael Jackson’s shows. He is into the martial arts. He told us not to be strangers but to keep being strange.

I’m getting sick of people calling me strange. Strange is the guy who asked me if I ever had frozen pink. He said I should put Jess’s Dekadance t-shirt in the freezer and then cut out the pink and eat it.

Danny is graduating from high school tomorrow. Dr. Poli [the high school principal] has banned cap throwing. Danny looked forward to chucking his cap and the whole place away.

Jess’s Dekadance t-shirt had a picture of the album cover on it. INXS released two different versions of the Dekadance EP. The one released in the U.S. had remixes of songs from Shabooh Shoobah.

INXS

6/22/84

Today is Garry Gary Beers’ birthday.

Yesterday I went to Danny’s graduation and saw some people I knew and then went to Terri’s to pick up my Casio.

I’m not in a good mood today. I hope I get my period soon to get over this soon. [PMS] I have to go to work today.

I got the concert days off but not the days around them. It’s going to be interesting. Terri called Gary [Gary Grant, INXS tour manager] in Michigan. He said Original Sin went to number one in France, but I didn’t see it.

Freddie Soehnlein [a family friend] died in a swimming pool. I read that in the paper while I was on the phone with Terri.

6/24/84

Jackie is seeing INXS in Chicago. I’m dying to know what is going on.

I made a ton of money today. $110. [The equivalent of $343 in 2025.] Somebody left me a $26 tip. It is pouring rain outside, or I’d go out. Van Halen is annoying me on MTV. I’m not into the videos they play these days.

I asked for July 7 off so I can go to Philly. [To see INXS in concert.]

I asked Aunt Barbara for my oboe back so I can get into it again.

6/25/84

I bought five tapes and went out to dinner at the diner. Then I went to see The Karate Kid and now I’m at home watching David Letterman.

6/26/84

I’m hyperactive now. Only 24 hrs. or so to go. I can’t wait. Jackie talked to them, [INXS] and they remember Terri. Terri is getting all of the inside information no problem.

The bird whistle

The plastic whistle that was shaped like a bird was extremely cheap. It wasn’t something I wanted. I only bought it on June 13th out of pity for the one-armed man who was selling them on the streets of New York City.

To turn it into a gag gift for Garry Gary for his birthday, I placed the whistle in a shoebox along with some articles that I cut out from the Weekly World News. I wrote a note from Eric, the bird whistle, that explained he was an orphan whose owner had been killed in a tragic boating accident. I named the toy, Eric, because I loved Monty Python’s Flying Circus which I watched as a kid. Channel 13 was the PBS (Public Broadcasting) channel in New York City, and they started showing Monty Python in 1974.

Channel 13 promo video

The sketches that included animals named Eric:

Fish License sketch video

Eric The Half a Bee video

I wrapped the shoebox in the cover of an issue of The Weekly World News. The headline was “Jealous Computer Kills Top Scientist.” I can’t find a photo of that issue on the internet.

Here’s a photo of a different issue from that time.

The cover of the Weekly World News tabloid paper from June 26, 1984.

Here is an article about the Weekly World News

https://time.com/archive/6908434/the-late-great-weekly-world-news

Welcome back to New York City, INXS!

On June 27, 1984, Jess, Terri, Jackie, and I went to New York City in the evening to wait in the lobby of the hotel where INXS would be staying. Terri drove us. I wrote in my diary that it was the Windsor Harley Hotel, but the internet tells me that the Helmsleys owned a hotel named Windsor and a hotel named Harley and not a hotel called Windsor Harley. My best guess is that INXS stayed at the Helmsley Windsor Hotel on 58th St and 6th Ave just up the street from Radio City Music Hall where they were to open for The Go-Go’s the next night.

Leona Helmsley video

We were in the lobby when the band arrived. Kirk Pengilly said, “Hi, Donna,” and gave me a kiss. Then he said, “I hope you aren’t parked in a towaway zone.” So, he remembered me and made it clear that he remembered what had happened the last time I saw him nine months ago.

Everyone had birthday presents for Garry Gary so what I remember is all of us being around Kirk and Garry while we gave him his gifts. Michael came over and planted a kiss on my cheek. Not something I was interested in because I still didn’t like him. The wrapping on my shoebox gave everyone a laugh. The gift though? Maybe not. It was weird.

Kirk told us that he had to go to the airport and pick up “the little battler.” That’s some kind of Australian slang that seemed kind of misogynistic or insulting like “the ball and chain” or “the old lady.” Not being Australian, I had no idea what he meant. The internet says that he called her a working-class person.

He was talking about his girlfriend, Karen Hutchinson, who was flying in from Australia to spend some time on tour with Kirk. Pretty clear message there that nothing further was going to happen between me and Kirk Pengilly.

I think I had already gotten that message though after getting the friendly, polite letter with no contact information and the revelation in the magazine that he had a girlfriend.

Before Kirk left, I told him that I had started playing the lottery and I asked for a number. He picked 26 which was his age. I also asked Gary Grant for a lottery number, and he picked 27 which I believe was also his age.

Scary drive back to New Jersey late at night

While Terri was driving north on Amsterdam Avenue to get to the George Washington Bridge, the car hit a huge pothole. I don’t know if we were in Harlem or already north of Harlem when it happened. Afterwards, we heard a scraping noise of metal in contact with the road. Terri pulled into a gas station, and we wanted the attendant to help us, but he refused to leave the booth he was in. That was a sign that we were in an area that had a lot of criminal activity.

Jackie was panicking and she lived in Chicago, so it was surprising that she was so frightened. The rest of us were also frightened and it only got worse when a car full of Hispanic guys stopped and asked if we needed help. Because now we have two problems; a broken car and several men we don’t know who might be looking to take advantage of an opportunity to hurt us.

Terri and I put on our toughest tough girl attitudes and Terri said no to them. She told them to go away very firmly when they asked again, and thankfully they did.

A piece of the car was hanging down and touching the ground. It turned out to be the oil pan, but I didn’t know what it was at the time. I had the idea to tie it back up to the underside of the car using my belt. I had a cool-looking hip belt. A hip belt was not worn through belt loops but was worn slung around your hips. My belt had a bunch of silver-colored rings about one inch in diameter and they were connected by strips of black leather. It was a sturdy belt.

An example of a hip belt from the 1980s. Mine had similar rings but they were held together by strips of black leather.

So, I took off my belt, got on the ground, and managed to loop the belt through some part of the oil pan and then loop my belt through some metal part of the underbody so the oil pan was not scraping the ground. Then I buckled the belt to secure it. After that, I bought a quart of oil from the attendant in the booth just in case the car was leaking oil, and we would need to add some on the way home.

We got back on the road and didn’t have any more problems getting back to New Jersey. Terri had to take her car to the shop to have the oil pan fixed, so we had to use Jess’ car to carry on with our adventures.

The INXS concert

The next day, June 28, 1984, was the day of the concert. Jess drove Terri, Jackie, and I into New York City in the afternoon and we parked in the Port Authority Bus Terminal lot.

When we went to Radio City Music Hall, we discovered that we had missed the soundcheck, so we walked over to the hotel. I wore big black felt hat with a flat top and a wide brim that I found at a thrift shop in Greenwich Village. It was similar to the hat that Michael Hutchence wore in the INXS video, “The One Thing” except that it didn’t have a band and the brim was wider. My shirt was black and gray striped-it was sleeveless, and it came up to my neck in front but was low-cut in back. Paired with gray cropped pants and cheap black sandals that looked a little punky because they had cheap metallic bits sewn to the straps across my feet. Around my hips was the famous belt that I had removed from underneath the car.

While walking to the hotel, we just happened to pop into a pizza parlor and Andrew Farriss was in there. Andrew wasn’t much into socializing, so we didn’t bother him often, but I took the opportunity to walk over to him to introduce myself. I extended my hand and said, “Hi! I’m Donna,” and we shook hands. Because other than Kirk, I don’t think any of them knew my name and they all already knew Terri, Jess, and Jackie.

We ran into Michael Hutchence on the sidewalk outside the hotel. I was surprised by how nice and friendly he was when we were talking to him because he had come across as arrogant in the past. This was the first time I had something other than a negative impression of him. As a person and not as a singer, that is.

He told me he liked my hat. I loved my hat! Terri often asked him, other members of the band, and Gary Grant, the manager, to do things for us. She told Michael that we did not have good seats near the front and asked him to tell the audience to move up to the front when he got on stage so we could move up closer. I can’t remember if he did that, but it was definitely something he would be willing to do.

The only thing I remember from the show is being angry because there was one girl who jumped up on stage and ran up to Michael three different times. Now, instead of singing the song for everyone, he had to hug the girl to try to be nice and then deal with her grabbing onto him until someone could pull her away.

The third time she jumped onstage, several other girls joined her, so Michael had multiple girls mauling him when he was trying to sing. They ruined more than one song. We hated that. It’s so rude in so many ways. Fans like that are a terrible problem.

After the show

We left Radio City Music Hall before The Go-Go’s took the stage and waited outside for INXS to leave. Gary Grant came out and we talked about the girls jumping onstage. He was also very angry and used rude language to talk about those girls. Called them all sorts of names.

Kirk Pengilly was outside signing autographs for some fans. He had his head down while doing it. I went over and said something like, “Kirk, you’ll never believe what happened to us when we drove home last night.” Without looking up he said, “What is it, Donna?” So, I told him the story about how we hit a pothole, and I used the belt that I was wearing to tie up the bottom of the car so we could drive home. For the second time in a row, we had a problem with the car when we went to see INXS. I had to tell him because it was like a thing now.

I’m sure plenty of other stuff happened but I was too busy to write it all down and I don’t remember anymore. All I know is that we took a horse-drawn carriage to get back to the car at Port Authority. It was fun but not at all scenic.

Here is a photo from 1991 and the black hat is sitting on the coatrack. You can see that it was collecting dust and I eventually got rid of it because I didn’t wear it and it did was take up space and collect dust.

My room in the apartment I shared in West Philadelphia. My hats and also some INXS stuff on the exposed drywall.

October 4, 2025
Blog Post 12- INXS releases The Swing, Spring 1984

The fourth album by the Australian rock band, INXS.

This post contains diary entries and a letter. There is information about the Australian rock band, INXS, and about what I was doing, thinking, and feeling.

Working graveyard shifts

It’s towards the end of spring semester of my sophomore year in college. I am working at my work-study job for West Campus which oversees the student dorms in the western part of Penn’s campus. That includes the three high-rise apartment buildings where I worked and lived.

Here are a couple of diary entries from when I was working the overnight (graveyard) shift at the desk in the lobby of one of the high-rise buildings. There was an intercom system that broadcast into the stairwells that could be switched on at the desk. There was a hand-held microphone at the desk that was part of the system. It was there for fire safety. During fire alarms, the students were trained to leave their rooms and wait in the stairwells. The intercom could be used to tell them to evacuate the building if it was necessary. Usually, it was used to tell them to remain in the stairwell.

The two tall buildings in the bottom right are High Rise North and High Rise East. West Campus. University of Pennsylvania.

4/27/84

Another night, another graveyard. INXS is keeping me awake tonight. Now I’m playing with the mike and singing to the lobby. A guy with a New Order and Bauhaus tape left me the case and took my INXS one. He said I had a pretty good voice and asked if I was in a band.

All the weirdos are out tonight. Some guy wanted to know if I did crank. I said no and he said, “what are you doing tonight?” Nada. INXS and Dr. Pepper make for a natural high.

Time to wake up Ralph-he’s coming in to replace me at 4. Someone showed me a death star instead of ID. Very comforting.

4/28/84

I’m at work again. I’ll be at work later tonight. Hopefully I won’t be incoherent by the time I finish tomorrow.

It’s graveyard time again. I’ll probably be incoherent soon. At 2am it will instantly be 3.

It’s 5am and I’ve lost it completely. Don just left. We had an interesting conversation. I bought a pizza at a discount. I don’t know why because I ate three pieces and gave the rest away and it cost five dollars. Someone could sell me the Brooklyn Bridge at this point.

A guy claiming to be a social worker almost duped me. Luckily, Victor was around because he found out that the number the guy was calling was for a Honda dealership. The guy left. I am very stupid when it comes to believing people.

I don’t think I’ll remember anything if I study. Just have to keep awake. I’m glad the elevators are here to swallow up the people as soon as they come in. I wonder if my saying I like graveyards is a form of relieving dissonance. I don’t think so because I do like the peace and quiet. I’m the owner of the building. I’m in charge-I put my feet on the desk and blast music. It’s all mine. People think I’m crazy when I say I have fun. I’m getting paid for hanging out and having a private party. I only have to stay awake to make sure that only Penn jerks get in and not jerks off the street.

I’ve been up for 17 hours. That’s not even close to a record. Why it’s nothing really. I should be sharp as a knife. I think I own a dull blade.

The sun is peeking out from the horizon. This dawn used to be sunset in Australia. It’s amazing what a little light does to me. Sunrises are amazing.

It’s fun whirling in my chair. If I ever become an executive- God forbid, I want a chair I can spin around in.

I’m ruining my teeth drinking all this Dr. Pee Pee. Here comes Mr. Sunshine. Here comes Mr. Rainwater. Here come the Anarchittys running up the street.

The trees are a nice color green today. I don’t want to study my schoolwork. I want to be rich. I want to go traveling. Gonna blast some German music. [Falco] I wish I knew the words. My bladder is becoming really efficient because of this job. There’s a funky pigeon outside the door. I’m having a Dr. Pepper overdose. When I go home this summer, I’m going to have nicotine and pepper withdrawal.

4/29/84

It seems these past couple of days I was either sleeping or at work.

Well, I just got up, so it is off to work in a few.

Original Sin finally debuted on the charts here at #87.

I’m getting depressed. I have to figure out a way to get out of lunches at the Emerson Hotel. Fran is going into the hospital, so they’ll probably want me to work as soon as I get back. Terrific. I just have to think of the money. The whole thing is depressing.

I spoke to Mom on the phone. It doesn’t help my mood at all. Sleep will be good tonight. I’m so tired. I won’t dream. I won’t think. I’ll have an eight-hour vacation from this world.

The weather is nice. A cool breeze is coming in through the door. Danny is getting a computer. I might be able to use it over the summer.

Chris invited me to an EST meeting on Tuesday. I haven’t gotten mail in two or three weeks. I want my Trouser Press. I have to subscribe to it again.

From my collection of Trouser Press magazine. October 1983 issue.

5/1/84

Another graveyard. This one hasn’t been much fun. It is 6:20am. I want to die. I have so much work to do.

I went to an EST guest seminar, and everyone gives me the hard sell to do the training. I don’t know. I feel like hell.

5/3/84

It is 2pm and I’m about to take a nap because of a graveyard tonight.

I’ve been keeping weird hours. I worked graveyard Tuesday then slept from 8-3 then stayed up until midnight and got up at seven this morning for my Sociology final which went OK. I got my paycheck today.

Some woman from EST called here to talk to me. I don’t know how she got my number, but they better stop bothering me.

5/4/84

Nan just told me that the light under the desk was on meaning that everything going on at the desk was being broadcast into the stairwells- how embarrassing. A girl came down from the stairwell while I was playing INXS and singing to it and she said I had a good voice so it must have been on then. I wondered how she was able to hear me. It was bound to happen sooner or later. A total of about seven people offered to get me coffee or breakfast. I never expected so many considerate people to be around.

5/5/84

It is almost 10 pm and once again I am behind the desk. My feet are vibrating because they are on top of the refrigerator. I’m listening to the Swing. I made a special trip downtown to buy it. I told Chip from WQHS it was a great album so maybe they will play it. I should be getting paid for PR work.

Letter from Terri

A letter from Terri who was still in school in Florida arrived. It seems to be the last letter from her for the next few months. We were both about to go back to New Jersey for the summer, so we didn’t need to communicate by mail once that happened.

Terri gave me news about INXS. She said that “The Swing” was supposed to be out in a few days. One of her pen pals in Australia recorded it on cassette for her so she had already listened to it and said it was great.

Gary Grant was still in Australia, so she was not able to speak to him when she called Atco Records. The receptionist finally put her through to someone else and whoever it was said that “there was nothing definite, but there was talk of a spring tour with the Cars. If they plan to come in OUR spring, they better get something settled soon!!”

A friend of hers left for Australia so Terri told her about Gary Grant and gave her the address for their office in Sydney so she could go there if she had a chance. I don’t know if she actually did.

An MMA Management ad from Billboard magazine. Date unknown.

Terri heard “Original Sin” on a “real” radio station for the first time in Tampa- on a commercial station and not a college station. “They are still trying to figure out who Inkses is in Florida, for the most part!”

An Australian friend sent her a nice poster of INXS, and she told me all about it. The Farriss brothers looked stunning. Timmy looked cool. Jon’s hair looked like it did this time last year at the Ritz. Andrew had shaved and looked adorable. “Michael is too busy looking evil, so the heck with him.” Garry looked like he had a cold but his hair looked good. Kirk’s hair was going back to brown. She didn’t like the haircut, “but at least he doesn’t look like a lawn mower’s been in his head! And a new pair of frames-this guy is the Elton John of INXS!”

The back of the poster contained information about the band. The members of INXS chose their favorite songs from The Swing. Kirk chose “I Send A Message” while everyone else chose “Dancing on the Jetty” except for Michael who couldn’t decide.

Everyone but Andrew gave the names of their girlfriends. Terri wrote, “I won’t tell you Kirk’s unless you want me to!” She also wrote about some of the answers the band members gave when asked what their first love was. Tim said Annette Funicello and Garry Gary Beers said surfing and surfboards. Jonathan James Farriss said, “My first orgasm, I guess. When I was fourteen and a half!”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wX6NeYHVWuk Video of Annette Funicello

5/9/84

Almost time for my management final. I’ve been up at 5:30am for the past two days because of finals. Tomorrow is the last one and then I have to pack up my shit and hit the trail back home. I’m just so excited. I hope I can stay awake for this exam. Hopefully I can answer the questions.

I want simplicity, doldrum, sleep, boredom, to twiddle my fingers, to watch TV, to avoid thinking, to avoid this.

5/10/84

Last day of finals, last full day in Phila. There must be more important things in life than brand loyalty.

Back in Hillsdale, NJ for the summer

The portion of Hillsdale, NJ that includes my house, Terri’s house, Friendly’s, the supermarkets, library, and my high school.

I had to walk to many places. The supermarkets were half a mile from my house. The Hillsdale Library was three-fourths of a mile away and Terri’s house was another two hundred yards further up the street from the library.

5/11/84

I’m watching MTV. That’s right I’m home. I just got back and already I’m scheduled to work tomorrow and Sunday. Keep thinking of the money-what I can do with it, where I can go.

Saw “Eat It” for the first time. [Music video by Weird Al Yankovic. A parody of Michael Jackson’s “Beat It”] I’m going to miss school. Well maybe not the work. I better get used to not eating. I made myself a hamburger omelet- it was good at least for scrounging. It takes so long to walk to the stores. This is going to be a long, long summer. I hope it doesn’t kill me.

I’m going down to the Meadowlands tonight with Terri and Jess to hang around and maybe see Randy and Eddie Money. I’m dressed to kill in my fedora and Michael Jackson earrings. [Randy was the keyboard player for Eddie Money. Terri and I met him when I was thirteen and Terri was fourteen and we went to Central Park for some soundcheck.]

Randy Nichols, keyboard player for Eddie Money

Eddie Money backstage at the Wollman Ice Rink in Central Park. NYC. Dr Pepper Summer Music Festival. August 9, 1978

5/12/84

11am- Just got out of bed. I could sleep all day, but I have a lot to unpack before I go to work. Urgh. My feet are aching in anticipation.

5/13/84

I’m exhausted. I worked Sat. night until one am. and then today (Mother’s Day) from 12-9. I made $90 which makes it worth it. It wasn’t really hectic tonight. I was managing OK. My brain is in a daze and my body hurts. My feet ache and itch and they swell up after I work.

5/14/84

Ho hum. Going to NY [New York City] tomorrow perhaps to spend money on whatever. I have been spending money so fast because there is so much to buy. I’m becoming manic again. I want to get away from here, but I know I’m stuck for now. I’m looking for a way to be free and hopefully I’ll find it. Mother dear better keep her nose out of my journals.

Showed Terri where Kirk and I ate. Stopped by INXS’ record company. Dirtbag men followed us in Greenwich Village.

5/15/84

Next summer I’m definitely going to stay in Philadelphia. This place is going to drive me nuts. My only desires are becoming food and sleep. There is no privacy here. I can’t live my own life here.

I went shopping in the city today. I bought some cool shoes, a couple of pocketbooks, t-shirts, and assorted other things. I have a headache now. We passed the Milford Plaza and Beefsteak Charlies, and I showed Terri where we sat. We also spent some time and energy searching out the Power Station. We went to Atco but no word. We hit the village and saw lots of interesting looking people. We caught the attention of a couple of skeevs who followed us for a block but finally left when we ducked into a store to get away from them.

5/16/84

I’m going for a walk as soon as I get dressed. I need to get out. I want to cry again.

I’m in Lisa’s Pizza before I go to Terri’s for a Cosmos meeting. This area is the pits. If I don’t go nuts, I’ll be thankful. I’ve been debating whether or not to buy cigarettes. I bought a Lotto ticket instead.

In Music Merchant [Record store in downtown Westwood, NJ that survived until 2024] some people were trying to decide what record to buy for some kid as a gift. I suggested the Swing. I don’t know why I should bother.

This meeting tonight will probably be boring. I don’t think I’m going to shake my mild depression but at least I’ll be bored and depressed away from home. I don’t belong there. I’m too used to being on my own and now I have to tell mommy where I’m going when I leave the house. I should have been born with money. I know money doesn’t solve all problems, but I would be better off with it than without it.

I wish there was a decent cafe around. Somewhere quiet that I could go to for a cup of coffee and some inspiration. I sound like a member of the coffee generation. [Reference to a “Coffee Achievers” TV commercial for the coffee industry.]

Coffee Achievers video

5/17/84

Eskie [Eskandarian] and Johan [Neeskens] [NY Cosmos soccer players] were at the meeting but I spent the time rewriting the Swing album. I did three songs. I’m beginning to feel panicky about everything. NAUSEA. I am hyper. I just got back from Bamberger’s. [A New Jersey department store owned by Macy’s. All the stores were renamed as Macy’s in 1986] I lost my card, so they gave me a temporary one but the Casio thing I want to buy is out of stock. [Casio portable music keyboard]

I have to save up for tuition. I don’t know what is wrong with me. Now I’m becoming vain about my appearance. I shouldn’t worry because I can’t change what I was born with, and I didn’t get a raw deal so why this urge to look in the mirror all the time? Maybe I’m going through adolescence at the age of 19.

Rewritten songs from The Swing

Dancing on the Jetty video-INXS

Walking off the Jetty [My version]

Why don’t you take a long walk

Off a short pier

Who’s gonna teach you

Teach you how to swim

You could talk forever

Just never get tired

Listen to your words

Find out why you get us down

Long stories, bad jokes

Loud clothing

Go walk off the jetty

Cause we’re sick of you

Why don’t you take a long walk

Off a short pier

Who’s gonna teach you

Teach you how to swim

You told your life story

You started years ago

Prayed like hell that you’d shut your mouth

Another story and I’d kill myself

Bore the world, too sorry

Give anything

for a moment’s silence

We want to stop you from making noise

Nothing but trouble, leave town

Don’t you come back

We hope you got the hint.

INXS Video Melting in the Sun

Lying in the Sun [My version of Melting in the Sun by INXS a la Weird Al Yankovic]

Sung to the tune of Melting in the Sun by INXS

More from the diary

5/18/84

I just got out of work. I go back to work dinner in a couple of hours.

I’m hyperactive again but I’m not depressed because I’m raking in the dough, and I got a nice letter from Jackie Fuhrmann. [I still have this letter. Jackie wrote about how she was planning to come visit once she knew when INXS would be touring the east coast. She also asked me if I had heard from Kirk Pengilly again. She asked me that every time she wrote. But no, I only heard from him that one time back in November 1983] Tonight, when I get home, I have to write to Jackie and Jen.

My Michael Jackson t-shirt came out well. Mom and Dan thought I bought it with sunglasses and burning hair.

I hit four numbers the first time I played Lotto. I’m psyched.

I’m back from work. I got a tip from one of my customers that included a balloon cat and mouse. It was great.

5/19/84

A Saturday night off! This event should be marked down in history. I have to eat dinner soon. I’m starving. I’m sitting on the living room couch. Junior [our dog] is lying on the floor next to me and my mother is in the kitchen. Barbara Streisand is blasting on the stereo.

My mother changed the record to Neil Diamond. I bought a Weekly World News at Quick Chek. The headline is “Famed Psychic’s Head Explodes”. The National Examiner had an interesting story about Jesus’ secret life, but I didn’t buy the paper. I think it is owned by Rupert Murdoch, the wealthy Australian newspaper magnate, who wanted to buy Warner Communications. All My Children [my favorite soap opera] had on someone named Hubert Drydoch-I think that he is supposed to be Murdoch because of the accent and the allusions about newspapers and magazines.

[I was wrong about the National Examiner. The tabloid was never owned by Rupert Murdoch. He owned The Star. Read about it on Wikipedia. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Examiner]

Dr. Pepper tastes best when it is warm and flat. Gary Grant is supposed to be back in America sometime in the next couple of days. I had a really severe muscle cramp in my leg last night. I thought I would never be able to use my leg again.

Tonight, I’m going to read my paper, watch Tootsie on TV, and then INXS on MTV. [I don’t know what MTV showed. Maybe the debut of I Send A Message? INXS were in Europe at the time.] Tomorrow is going to be a long day, but I should survive. I hope I’ll get decent tips. I’m only halfway through Nausea. [Book by Jean Paul Sartre] I hope Mom and Carl leave soon. I like having the house to myself.

Cover of the Weekly World News from May 22, 1984

5/20/84

I like my job for the most part. It is just very painful to the feet and back. To most people there I am still a baby. I’m not supposed to know about sex and all of the other grownup things. I’m too young. They should think back to the time when they were my age. Some of them were already married. My job is less frustrating and easier than last summer. I even found out when I was home for Christmas that I could handle five tables no sweat. Now that it has gotten easier, it is also more profitable.

5/22/84

I was just at the Emerson Hotel nine hours ago and I’m going back in another hour to work lunch.

I would rather be reading

5/23/84

I slept so late this morning. Carl is home. [My mother’s husband. The guy who owned the Ho-Ho-Kus bakery.]  I’m so tired. I bought my Casio thing yesterday. I have to figure it out. Junior is barking now. He is such a pain. One minute he wants in and then out again. I hope I get my paycheck from school sometime soon. This town is getting boring. I need to find a place to go away from here where I can sit and think or read. Maybe the library is open. Maybe I can go see a movie tonight.

I wonder if I am sane. I was walking backwards down the railroad tracks singing earlier this afternoon. I went to the bank and just made it into Friendly’s before it started to pour. The lightning was really close. It scared the shit out of me. I had a cup of coffee and now I’m at the library. I brought my backpack just in case I found some books to take out.

There are so many things I should read and learn and know about that it all gets overwhelming. Insignificant things like working to earn a living and sleeping get in the way.

[Friendly’s was an ice cream place with food that was half a mile from my house. The one in Hillsdale closed and is now a Chipotle.]

Modeling doesn’t sound so great

5/24/84

Lunch was sooo dead today. I only made ten dollars. I have to go back in two hours and work 5-10. I’m working in the middle, so I have two big tables and three little ones. I hope I’m not run to the ground tonight although I would like to make some money.

I told them about my school job. They listened to me like I was E.F. Hutton. I guess because I don’t talk much. I don’t know why they expect me to talk more. What am I supposed to say? Frank and Toni always tell me to shut up because I’m talking too much or giving them a headache. They must tell me this at least ten times a day. It’s getting on my nerves.

I read a book about modeling, and I don’t know if I want to be bothered that much. Every part of your body has to look perfect. You have to get test shots and then maybe you’ll get some work, but it is long hours. I don’t know how much money it takes before I would even get work. My waist is too thick. The book talks about how guys that are halfway decent are almost impossible to find if you are a model. How about decent guys are hard to find period? Everyone tells me how lucky I am not to have a boyfriend. Freida, Joanne, and even my grandmother approves of not having one.

Well, I’m not a millionaire this week. I only got one number. I might have been a bit richer if we weren’t on pool. I had eight tables, and we were busy. I worked extremely hard and I’m tired. On one twelve-dollar check the people left me a twenty-dollar tip. That has to be the best tip I’ll ever get. I had to give it in to the pool. I’m expected back at work in eleven hours. Tomorrow, hopefully it will be busy for two hours then I can get paid and leave. I’ve certainly changed. Work is not as bad as it used to be, and I’ve become almost ambitious.

5/26/84

I try to convince myself that school is worth the cost. I’m sure I won’t regret it later so I can’t be too impulsive now. I went to a store on Route 4 and played with some keyboards. Today’s technology blows me away. It is so cool.

5/27/84

It’s good to be home. Work was long, slow, boring, and not very profitable. I’m tired from standing around all day. At least I got out around 8:15 and didn’t have to do ketchups. I had to eat Cornish hen because they didn’t sell any. Yuck. Everyone has been giving me compliments on how good a waitress I am. Barbara is back for the weekend and then she goes back to school for the summer. A new girl named Valerie is starting on Tuesday. I’m still the youngest there. Joanne thought I was about 22. I’d like to be 21 so I could do anything I want without a hassle. Tomorrow, we have to be in at 4:45 in case the rush starts early (if there is any).

I must stop thinking before I depress myself. I can see where drugs might come in handy at times like these-to forget everything: good, bad, or otherwise.

[The restaurant used to have bottles of ketchup on the tables and we would have to fill them up by pouring the ketchup from almost empty bottles into half-full ones to fill them up. I didn’t like to do this task.]

September 19, 2025
Blog Post 11- Soccer in New Jersey- The Cosmos

Jackie Fuhrmann and Victor Nogueira

Jackie Fuhrmann with Victor Nogueira, the goalkeeper for the Chicago Sting. He is from Mozambique. I think he was Jackie’s favorite player. He was a good-looking man. He is also in the Indoor Soccer Hall of Fame which seems to only exist on the internet.

https://www.indoorsoccerhall.com/home

On March 11, 1984, while I was in Tampa, Florida for spring break, I wrote in my diary that a certain soccer team was in town yesterday and Mr. X didn’t even try to pick me up! “I guess he knows better at this point, so he doesn’t bother. At least I didn’t have to pay for the game.” Mr. X was a married soccer player from a foreign country who was 13 years older than me.

We went to an indoor soccer game after some player that we knew gave us the tickets. The visiting team won the game. After the game we went to a bar called Whiskey Joes. My diary says that I didn’t talk to any of the players.

It was towards the end of my time as someone who went to soccer games as both the New York Arrows of the MISL (Major Indoor Soccer League) and the entire NASL (North American Soccer League), which played soccer outdoors during the summer, folded after the 1984 season.

Cosmos History

The New York Cosmos and the best and worst of American soccer

Giants stadium, in the Meadowlands, opened for business in 1976 when the New York Giants football team played its first season there. The stadium was in East Rutherford, in the southern part of Bergen County, the county in New Jersey where I grew up. The New York Cosmos professional soccer team started playing there in the summer of 1977.

The Cosmos team was started by the Ertegun brothers of Atlantic Records fame along with several other executives from Warner Communications, which owned many entertainment companies and later merged with Time, Inc. to become Time Warner. The team debuted in the NASL in 1971. They were losing a lot of money from the beginning, so it wasn’t long before the founders basically signed their stakes over to Warner Communications.

A history of the Cosmos can be found on Wikipedia.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_York_Cosmos_(1971–1985)

Franz Beckenbauer Farewell Game

My Beckenbauer Farewell game ticket stub

Video of Franz Beckenbauer farewell game highlights with some weird narration.

Keeping a diary wasn’t something I did until I was a junior in high school and that was only because my English teacher had us write during class every Wednesday. So, I don’t know for sure if I went to soccer games during the summer of 1980 or not. The players I met at were all on the Cosmos roster in 1980 and 1981. My diary contains a couple of hints that perhaps I did go to at least one game before the Franz Beckenbauer Farewell Game on September 24, 1980. If not, then I went to at least one of the Cosmos fan club meetings with Terri.

Press release announcing that Pele will come back for the Beckenbauer farewell game

Franz Beckenbauer was a very successful and famous German soccer player. The New York Cosmos lured many players from other countries to play for them, such as Pele, usually towards the end of their careers.

Video tribute to Franz Beckenbauer when he died January 7, 2024.

Meeting some soccer players

After my junior year in high school, I stopped writing any kind of diary. I didn’t start again until 1984 so I only have my old memories to go on now. I think it wasn’t until after junior year of high school that I went to more games and met some of the soccer players. Terri and I were in the same grade in school, but she was many months older than me. She was able to drive before I was.

Our high school (Pascack Valley High School in Hillsdale, NJ) started a girls’ soccer team in the fall of 1980. My diary says that I considered trying out for the soccer team, but I joined the cross-country track team instead. I was already active in indoor track and spring track but that is the subject for another post.

That fall, Terri and I went trick-or-treating at Andranik Eskandarian’s house on Halloween. He was a defender for the Cosmos who came from Iran, and he lived nearby. I dressed as a runner for my costume. His wife was home, but he was in Europe because the Cosmos went on a tour where they played twelve games against teams in Europe and North Africa.

Here is link to a story about Eskandarian’s soccer store in Hackensack, New Jersey.

https://www.northjersey.com/story/news/bergen/hackensack/2022/12/16/world-cup-fills-his-nj-soccer-store-he-endured-sports-rocky-early-days-new-york-cosmos/69725566007

There were a couple of Cosmos players from Paraguay who were only two or three years older than us. Julio Cesar Romero and Roberto Cabanas. Roberto Cabanas was like the Jon Farriss (drummer for the Australian rock band INXS) of the Cosmos-the one I thought was the best-looking and the one closest to my age. Neither of the guys from Paraguay spoke much English and Terri and I had chosen to study French in high school so spending time with them was a bit awkward. We did try though. I vaguely remember going with Terri to Guttenberg, NJ where Romero lived, and we had lunch with him.

In the front row of this photo are Seninho(11), Johan Neeskens(13), Julio Cesar Romero(7), Giorgio Chinaglia(9), Ricky Davis(17), Bogie(8). In the middle row are David Brcic(21) and Hubert Birkenmeier(1). In the back row are Roberto Cabanas(19) and Eskandarian(2). Those are the players I remember meeting or who are mentioned in this post.

RIP Roberto Cabanas, 'an idol wherever he went'

The Front Row bar at the Meadowlands

There was a bar on Paterson Plank Road, near Giants Stadium, that was owned by two football players who played for the Giants- Brad Van Pelt and Doug Van Horn. It was called The Front Row, and it was a place where soccer players would hang out after the games. I remember spending time there with Terri and her mother, who used to drive us places, and some other fans after games. I thought it was funny because we were still in high school. We didn’t drink though.

It was a good place to observe behavior. Most of the soccer players were attractive-in their 20s or 30s, athletic, fit, some tall, some handsome. Not all of them were single. I saw how the women who were there to pick up one of these men were dressed. One woman wore a shirt that had a see-through plastic window in front. That was most memorable. I don’t know if that always worked to get the attention of men in the bar, but I knew that dressing like that was meant to get a sexual sort of attention. I never dressed that way, ever.

George Katakalidis. New York Arrows indoor soccer

This is me in high school after a New York Arrows indoor soccer game. I’m on the far left. The man is George Katakilidis, one of the players. The other girls are Rena, and Linda, I think. My diary mentions them, but I don’t remember them. They didn’t live in our town. The Arrows played in Nassau Coliseum out on Long Island but my diary mentions a game in Madison Square Garden so I don’t know where this was taken. I’m wearing what I typically wore in high school when I only owned two pairs of jeans and they were identical. They were cast-offs as were most of my clothes back then. I didn’t get contact lenses until I went to college so I always wore those eyeglasses except when I was running.

Married man leaves bad impression

My first encounter with Mr. X happened at the Front Row bar when I was a senior in high school. I think I was standing on the dance floor when I talked to him, but I don’t remember why I was talking to him or what about. The only part I remember was when he asked me how old I was. I told him I was seventeen. He said, “Seventeen? What a beautiful age.” Just imagine it sounding icky because it came across as gross and inappropriate. I don’t think he specifically mentioned sex at all, but it was meant as a sexual comment.

Perhaps things got a little more serious the next time because he figured I was over eighteen by then? Who knows? Some men will target the younger girls while others are more cautious and only prey on the ones over 18. When we went to see Mr. X’s team sometime after I graduated from high school, we were in a hotel bar with some of the players. Mr. X was there, and I did look at him because he was good-looking but I was not flirting. So, it was a shock when a bit later, one of the other players came up to me and told me that Mr. X was waiting for me in his room. That was crazy to me, and I was embarrassed. I didn’t go. Later, Mr. X came back down and lured one of my friends by promising to give her a jersey or something. So, she left with him to get it, and he tried to kiss her.

None of that kept us away. We still wanted to support the teams and be friendly with the players because we could get free tickets and afford to go to more games that way. Plus, most of them were okay to be around and we would have fun. If we took precautions and avoided certain situations with certain players, then the assaults were kept to a minimum. This kind of behavior from men was so common and so normalized that we just put up with it and excused it if they were drinking alcohol. When I was 18 some 32-year-old soccer player put his hand over my mouth and then kissed the back of his hand. Stuff like that just got laughed off.

After a Chicago Sting indoor soccer game somewhere with Dee, Frankie, Jess, and Frankie’s mother in the early 1980s.

This is a photo of me, Dee, Frankie, Jess, and Frankie’s mother Fran. Taken on some road trip to go to an indoor soccer game when I was a freshman in college. I wore contact lenses.

Visiting Tampa, Florida

Before I went back for the spring semester of my sophomore year of college, in December of 1983, I took a trip to Florida where Terri was going to college. Jackie was also visiting. We stayed at Jen’s house. Jen babysat for one of the soccer players on the team in Tampa, so we hung out with her at his house. She knew all the players and we saw several of them during our time there. There isn’t anything in my diary about any of them bothering me which was not always the case. I think this photo of Jackie and Tatu of the Tampa Bay Rowdies might be from this time. Tatu is from Brazil and he too is in the Indoor Soccer Hall of Fame.

Jackie Fuhrmann and Tatu of the Tampa Bay Rowdies

You can read more about Tatu on his Wikipedia page.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tatu_(footballer)

A bit of harrassment

On August 15, 1984, I wrote in my diary that I went to a soccer game because I was bored and that it was a big mistake. This was just a few days after we were finished going to INXS concerts for the summer. Terri was friends with a player on the opposing team, but she told me that she wasn’t going to go out of her way for him. He ended up keeping us out until 6am and I wrote that I almost died when I was at work four hours later.

We went to the Front Row bar after the game and Terri spoke to this guy while we were there. Then he, his teammate, Terri, Jess, and I all went to a restaurant in Clifton, NJ called Bogie 8. It had been recently opened by one of the captains of the New York Cosmos, Vladimir Bogicevic. His nickname was Bogie and the number on his jersey was 8 and hence the name. I didn’t enjoy it.

After leaving the restaurant, we went back to the hotel where the players were staying. We took two more players besides the two we were with back to the hotel with us. Those two players were in the backseat of the car with me. One of them attacked me. He started kissing my shoulder and asking me for a kiss. I didn’t kiss the guy. The two of them said I looked like Julianne McNamara.

Julianne McNamara was a famous American gymnast at that time. She was on the US Olympic gymnastics team.

We got rid of those two players once we reached the hotel. According to my diary, “I made it there relatively unscathed.” Jess went home from there. I had come with Terri so I couldn’t go home if I wanted to. The four of us went out to a diner.

New Jersey is well-known for its diners. There were loads of diners in New Jersey in the 1980s. Many were open 24 hours a day. Most served breakfast at all times of the day.

I thought it was funny that Terri kept talking about Timmy Farriss of INXS in front of her friend. Timmy was Terri’s favorite member of the band and we had just spent a lot of time with them.

The four of us went out to the parking lot and played some soccer. There must have been a soccer ball in the car. I walked away with the guy who was from Brazil so Terri and her friend could be alone for a few minutes. We sat down in the parking lot in the middle of the night and waited. It was kind of awkward. We did our best to have a conversation. It was one of those times when I wished I had stayed at home in the end or that I had my own car so I could leave.

August 30, 2025