Author: Donna Gottlieb

  • Blog Post 4- INXS concert August 16, 1983

    ATCO Records publicity photo of Australian rock band INXS from 1983.

    Terri, Jess, and I had to wait outside of The Chance in Poughkeepsie, New York for the INXS concert. We stood in line at the door. One of my college roommates, Karen, who lived in Newburgh, NY when we weren’t in Philadelphia at college, came to The Chance. Terri’s sister, Renee, and some of her friends, also came up to see the show. 

    The doors opened and the doorman wouldn’t let me in when I showed my Penn ID card. Terri was 19 and Jess was 20 so they were legal and got in. My roommate, Karen, was also only 18 but she wasn’t carded at the door, and she got into the venue. Renee and her friends were even younger than me and they were not allowed inside so they decided to go back to New Jersey.

    I waited for a little while and then I took off my hat and got back in the line. When I got to the door, the doorman recognized me and said that there was no way I was getting in to see the show. I decided to wait for the band to show up. Because Kirk had talked to me at soundcheck; I thought he might let me go in with him if I asked.

    I must have had a notebook in my purse along with my pen because I wrote this:

    8/16/83

    In a hundred words or less-Why America stinks.  1. Too many laws. Fuck it.

    I can’t take all of this hypocrisy anymore. I am old enough to drink one hour and then I’m not old enough an hour later. I’m going to cry soon because this world sucks. It has to be a joke. I mean what kind of God would expect us to believe that we are here for a reason. There are no reasons for this insanity. God must be a sadist because you can’t win. Either you live under communist oppression, or you live under democratic oppression. I can’t believe that they won’t let me in on the ID that I have. Gimme a break. What’s the use of being alive when you can’t do what you want? If there is some reason, I really would like to know it.

    It’s quite dramatic-so dramatic that I have to laugh at it now. I was so angry that they would not let me in to see INXS after they had let us in earlier in the day and served me alcohol during the soundcheck.

    After I sat down near the stage door, some local guy who was doing the sound for INXS sat down next to me. I think his name was Jim. He sat down next to me and started asking me very personal questions. Being young and inexperienced, I sat there and answered them. Questions like “Do you have a boyfriend?” and “Are you a virgin?” The answer to the first question was no. I did not have a boyfriend. I told him that I had never done anything but kissed. That first year of college, I had kissed a guy who lived a floor above in the dorm. Jim told me that he had a girlfriend and that they liked to have sex. He said he wanted to take me to Great Adventure (A Six Flags amusement park in New Jersey) and show me a good time but that he wouldn’t try anything with me. I declined his offer. 

    Jim told me that he had been on tour as the sound mixer with the Thompson Twins and that every show of theirs was the same because the whole thing was on tape. Obviously, I wrote down that fascinating bit of information for posterity. 

    I explained to him about why I was stuck outside and that I was waiting for Kirk Pengilly from INXS to arrive so I could ask him to let me in to see the show. While I was waiting, the opening band took the stage and began playing. At that point, the sound guy decided to let me in himself.

    He opened the stage door and told me to follow him inside. Then he told me to go along the side of the stage and down the steps. I thanked him several times because he solved my problem and made me happy. Terri and Jess saw me back there and waved and yelled. I walked along the side of the stage (the left side if you are facing the audience) in full view of the audience while the opening act was playing right next to me. As quickly and as carefully as possible, I made my way down the steps to the floor and joined Terri, Jess, and Karen in the front row. We were up against the stage.

    I don’t remember much from the concert. When the band started playing Jan’s Song from Shabooh Shoobah, Michael Hutchence (the singer) plucked the hat from my head and wore it on his own. One of the lyrics from Jan’s Song is “She puts her hat on; looks in the mirror”, so my hat was an appropriate prop. 

    When Michael finished the song, he handed my hat back to me. While he was doing this, he said something to me. I have no idea what he said because I couldn’t hear him well enough. That was something that would happen again in the future.

    During one song, Timmy Farriss, one of the guitarists, (we always called him Timmy and not Tim) threw some guitar picks into the audience. Karen caught one and gave it to me. A couple of months later, I gave it to Terri because Timmy was her favorite band member.

    After the show, Jon Farriss, the drummer, was onstage for a minute, so I asked him to autograph my ticket. He said, surprised, “This is a whole ticket from tonight’s show!” and signed the ticket. He said he liked my hat and I said, “I like yours. Do you want to trade?” He said no because the hat was a gift from someone, and it had sentimental value. I don’t know what happened to the autographed ticket. I no longer have it. Perhaps I gave it away like I did with the guitar pick. 

    A photo of Jon wearing that hat from 1983.

    Jon Farriss, drummer for Australian rock band INXS, wearing his special hat in 1983.

    The doorman saw me and said, “So, you managed to sneak in somehow. It’ll never happen again.” That was true because I never went back to The Chance. There was a fire there about a year later and it was badly damaged.

    We went into the ladies’ room and a few other young women were in there. They knew where INXS was staying, and they told us. Karen decided to go home. Terri, Jess and I decided to go to the hotel.

    We waited in the lobby of a Ramada Inn somewhere in the area. When the band arrived, some of them complained that the Holiday Inn they had stayed in the night before or whenever wouldn’t allow them to bring guests upstairs. Pretty sure Michael was one who complained, perhaps also Timmy or Kirk.

    They went up to the floor where their rooms were, and we followed them, along with some other people who were in the lobby with us. At first, everyone stayed out in the hallway. Michael spoke to me and said, “Thanks for the use of your hat.” I told him, “Anytime!”

    There was a room for business meetings at the end of the hall. Timmy opened the door to that room, but he couldn’t find the light switch. Then I went in to look for the light switches. I found them and turned on the lights. Timmy, Kirk, my friends and I went into the room. Perhaps some other fans came in, but I don’t remember. Most of the fans stayed out in the hall with Michael.

    In the room there was a cart on wheels. Something similar to a hotel luggage cart-it was for transporting something. I got on it and started pushing it around with one leg-like a scooter. I stopped after I ran into something with it. Kirk called me a vandal when that happened.

    There was also an easel with white paper and markers and a watercooler in this meeting room. It seemed like a good idea to play a game of hangman, so I drew the gallows. I had been a bit obsessed with the phrase, “the best thing since sliced bread.” To me, it was a weird saying. So, I chose “sliced bread” as the puzzle. Timmy was the one who guessed the answer and won the game. I think we played another game of hangman but it got boring, so we all went to Timmy and Kirk’s room. Back then they were two to a hotel room to save money. The door stayed open, and it became another area for the party. 

    Michael was just outside, still in the hallway, with a bunch of fans. He was playing the Talking Heads on a red Japanese boom box. Timmy told us how exciting it was for him and the rest of INXS to meet the Talking Heads. He was acting like he was a huge fan when he told us about it-just the same as how their own fans were when they met INXS. 

    Australian rock band INXS with a red boombox. 1983
    Michael Hutchence holding the red Japanese boom box.

    Someone turned on the TV and we looked for something to watch. There was a show where a woman was giving birth. Another channel was showing an Aussie-rules football game (I think that is what ended up staying on). Terri wanted to watch the channel that was showing the colored stripes signal instead, basically expressing her displeasure at what was chosen. I was tired so I stretched out on one of the beds (I sat up against the headboard and my legs were on the bed and stretched in front of me) and watched TV. It was the bed farthest from the door and closest to the TV. I think Kirk and Timmy were sitting on the other bed or maybe just standing around with three or four other young women. I think Terri and Jess were sitting near the desks on the chairs. 

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SMPTE_color_bars#:~:text=SMPTE%20color%20bars%20are%20a,(EG)%201%2D1990.

    It wasn’t much of a party. No drugs and no alcohol that I can recall, which was fine by us because we didn’t use drugs or even drink really. I think Andrew, Jon, and Garry went to bed. I don’t recall them being around. I was just waiting for Terri and Jess to be ready to go home. I wasn’t even talking to anyone.

    Timmy must have been bored also because he decided to put on a mix tape that someone had given to him in Los Angeles. He said that it was a great tape. I sat there listening, but I was getting more bored by the minute because I didn’t recognize any of the songs and none of what I heard interested me. Then the fateful moment happened. A song came on that I knew and liked. Finally, something interesting was happening! I got excited, pointed at the boombox and said, “Hey, Shriekback!!” The song was “All Lined Up.”

    Kirk heard me say that and I guess it was the opening he was waiting for. He walked over and said, “Move over, darling!” so I moved over, and he stretched out next to me on the bed. His first question was about what other music I liked. I mentioned several bands, but I only know for sure that I mentioned XTC. I don’t think I asked him about his musical tastes. After a day filled with events and conversations, it is impossible to remember everything even as soon as the next day.

    I was having fun talking to Kirk. I told him about toxic waste in my home state of New Jersey. It’s kind of what the state is known for. New Jersey has the most Superfund sites of any state-those sites are the most polluted with hazardous, toxic waste. In the 1980s, the air smelled bad as you drove on the NJ Turnpike past refineries, etc. 

    The Emerson Hotel and my job there as a waitress was another thing we talked about. Kirk said, “I bet you’re good at it.” I said, “No, I bump into the chairs.” It was my first summer at that job and I was still learning. It was a popular restaurant, so I made good money which I needed to pay for college. My mother worked there as a second job, and she got me in. I told him that I had $600 in one-dollar bills stored in a suitcase in my closet. I didn’t tell him that I was keeping it hidden from one of my brothers who used to steal from me to buy pot (marijuana). I was not a fan of people who smoked pot because of that. It wasn’t until many years later that I found out that many of the members of INXS liked to smoke pot, including Kirk.

    Sometime during our conversation, I asked for Kirk’s autograph. I don’t know why. He seemed disappointed that I did that. He signed a piece of paper from a note pad that came from the Emerson Hotel anyway. 

    Kirk Pengilly autograph

    From time to time, Kirk got up to check on the shirt he had soaking in the bathroom sink. It was a red button-down shirt with little horses on it. Another thing I wrote in my diary was that he said he wanted to name his future children Billy and Milly Pengilly. I’m glad he didn’t go through with that.

    Garry Gary Beers and Kirk Pengilly from the Australian rock band INXS. August 1983
    Garry and Kirk, INXS, photo by Terri, 8/1983. Kirk wearing the red shirt with horses.

    After a while, I got up and left the room to get a paper cup from the meeting room. I was thirsty. Terri and I also wanted to see what was happening out in the hall. Kirk followed me out. 

    Terri and I stopped to talk to Michael. I didn’t like Michael. He walked funny-like prancing on tip toe. To me, he seemed arrogant and obnoxious. Michael seemed to like to tell people how to dress and I think he said something about what Terri was wearing when we were in the hall talking to him. I can’t remember what exactly-only that he said something insensitive about the dark color of her skin and Terri was hurt by it. Something along the lines of whatever color Terri was wearing did not go well with her dark skin or maybe he said a different color would go better. I think he was clueless and didn’t notice that he hurt her feelings, but I noticed, and it made very angry. It was another mark against him in my book.

    When we went back into the hotel room, we all sat around and talked to Timmy. We didn’t even know it was his birthday that day. I don’t think he mentioned it either. Someone at this party offered Timmy a piece of gum but he didn’t take it. He said he was allergic to artificial sweeteners. 

    Timmy told us a story about a guy named Simon. My diary says Timmy said he knew him growing up but now I wonder because I read an anecdote in the Story to Story book from when INXS played mining towns and it was similar. Timmy said that one of the things Simon used to do was put spiders in his mouth and then freak people out by having them crawl out of his mouth. I said, “I wonder what he does for kicks now”? 

    Timmy also told us that he, Jon, and Andrew had found out that their grandfather had died. They had had a concert a couple of days before and they were told about their grandfather’s death after they finished the show. I felt sorry for them because they were so far away from home and there was nothing they could do about it. Terri and Jess didn’t know what to say after hearing about Timmy’s grandfather. I said, “That’s a bummer.” Timmy said, “Yeah, it is.” I still say that when people tell me bad news sometimes.

    Other random things- For some reason, during some conversation, I said, “It beats the heck out of me!” and Kirk laughed at that. I guess it’s not something they said back in Australia. Also, Kirk and I drew on the paintings on the walls in his hotel room. This was something that surprised me when I read my diary after so many years. I don’t remember doing it, but it sounds like something I would do back then. I wonder what we added to those paintings. Was it mustaches on people or flowers or what? Did Ramada Inn ever notice?

    Before we left, I took a blank piece of paper from the notepad in the room. Terri took some of the hotel writing paper home with her. When we said that we were leaving, Kirk walked us out of the hotel. We stopped just outside, and Kirk said goodbye to Terri and Jess. They headed to the car. Then Kirk said, “And you!” and he sort of grabbed me. He put a hand on each of my arms near my shoulders, pulled me to him, and kissed me. I think I would have been justified if I slapped his face for doing that but instead, I kissed him back because I liked him a lot. We made out in the parking lot there for a minute or two before I said goodbye and walked to the car. Kirk walked back inside the hotel. I should have left it at that but I didn’t.

  • Blog Post 3- INXS 6th Anniversary, Soundcheck, August 16, 1983

    Garry Gary Beers, INXS, photo by Terri, 8/1983

    Australian rock band, INXS, finished the first leg of their first U.S. tour about a week after they performed at the US Festival in California on May 28, 1983. The band went back to Australia where they had some time off and then did shows in Melbourne and Sydney for the last nine days of July before coming back to the U.S. to perform. They played again in California on August 4, 1983

    US Festival

    Jackie came out to New Jersey from Chicago to visit us in June. When INXS left, their co-manager, Gary Grant, stayed behind and MMA Management opened an office in New York City in the same building as Atco Records. Atco Records had signed INXS to a record deal in the U.S. in 1982. We didn’t know that Chris Murphy and Gary Grant had done this until the day we walked into the office of Atco Records.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atco_Records

    Terri, Jess, Jackie and I went into the city to have fun. We walked into the building where Atco Records was located. We went to Atco Records and asked the receptionist when INXS was coming back to America. She called Gary Grant on the phone, and he came out to meet us. He invited us into his office. I didn’t write about this day in my diary, so I don’t remember anything that was said. I don’t know if we got an answer to the question of when INXS was coming back to America.

    Did Gary Grant ask us about ourselves and why we liked the band? Probably. He was there in America to help with relations with their record company, do promotions, and increase their fan base. Gary Grant was sent to New York City by Chris Murphy who became the manager of INXS through MMA Management in March 1980. He brought in Gary Grant as co-manager after a year or so as the INXS tour manager.

    https://www.smh.com.au/national/visionary-manager-s-belief-in-inxs-paid-off-in-spades-20210120-p56vow.html

    Gary Grant gave each of us an INXS promotional poster. The poster was hung on my wall when I met my husband eight years later in 1991. I think I threw out the poster at the same time I threw out the Tropicana juice bottle (internal link) I was married, and we were moving often so I threw some things away. Jess had her poster autographed by all the band members-probably as soon as they returned to America. 

    Before INXS came back, I went “down the shore” with Terri and Jess one day. Jess brought a boom box and a tape of the first INXS album. The first two INXS albums had not been released in the U.S. at that time, but it was easy to buy imported albums where we lived. Jess bought them and also INXSive which was a compilation album that had We Are The Vegetables and Simple Simon on it. I remember listening to INXS multiple times that day and I liked it, so I was ready to see the band in concert again.

    INXS came back to America in August 1983. I didn’t see an INXS show until August 16, 1983, when they played at a club called The Chance in Poughkeepsie, NY-about 60 miles north of Hillsdale, New Jersey.

    Terri and Jess saw INXS a couple of times before I did. On August 13, 1983, Terri, Renee (Terri’s younger sister who went to school with my younger brother, Dan), and Jess went to see INXS open for Men at Work at the Mann Music Center in Philadelphia. There is a mention of this in one of Terri’s letters. Jess gave Garry the INXS pillow that she made. They gave the band carnations. There was a photo in a magazine that we think is from backstage and shows their carnations and the pillow. Terri made a photocopy of the photo from the magazine and then wrote a letter to me on the rest of the paper.  

     

    INXS stationery, photocopy of magazine photo. L to R- Gary Grant, Michael Hutchence, Jon Farriss, Tim Farriss

    I think they also saw INXS play at Toad’s Place in New Haven, Connecticut on August 15, 1983. I surmise that they spoke to the band again and perhaps met Dana there.

    On August 16, 1983, Terri or Jess drove us up to Poughkeepsie from New Jersey and we waited outside of The Chance for INXS to arrive for their soundcheck. This was a routine way of doing things by that time. We had done it in May at the Ritz, and we likely did the same thing when Adam Ant had a concert in November 1982. Terri told me in a letter that she got me a ticket for the show at the Capitol Theater in Passaic, NJ on November 20, 1982, and that the plan was to wait for Adam Ant to come for soundcheck to try to meet him. It was a Saturday, so I came from university in Philadelphia, but I don’t remember what happened and I did not write it in my diary.

    When INXS arrived, we went inside with the band. I think they let us in because they recognized Terri and Jess already. And my impression was that they were quite friendly and liked to meet their fans. Inside there was a bar and then a section with tables and then the dance floor and then the stage. I bought a screwdriver (vodka and orange juice) at the bar. I was only 18 and the drinking age in New York was 19 but they served me without question. We sat at a table that was behind the table where Kirk Pengilly, Jon Farriss, and Michael Hutchence were sitting. I sat facing their table and the stage. I was minding my own business. Terri and Jess went off to an area on the right that had video games. They either played or watched someone else play.

    I sat there with my drink and took a pen from my purse. I amused myself by taking one of the Rockbill magazines that were on all the tables and drawing on it. I liked to draw women’s hairstyles on men’s pictures. Sometimes I also drew on some eyelashes or eyeliner. I also liked to fill in the holes in the printed letters. I was altering Sting’s picture on the cover when Kirk came over. I had given Sting a Fu Manchu mustache and a long, pointed beard and I was coloring in his hair. Kirk asked me what I was doing so I showed him. He said, “Oh, Sting is Chinese now.”

    Kirk sat down at my table, and we talked. I talked to him about our car ride up to Poughkeepsie-how long it took, etc. I drew him a crude map to show him where we were in New York and where we had come from in New Jersey. I told him that we had to make a U-turn in the middle of the highway (I guess we had to go back for something we forgot?). Kirk said that the tour bus did that once, but it wasn’t on purpose.

    He told me that I looked like I was going to a cricket match. I was wearing a white t-shirt, a denim skirt, white sandals, and a camouflage bucket hat. Terri and Jess came back to the table and apologized for interrupting us. I told them that they were not interrupting. Kirk left our table after a minute. I guess he took my comment to mean that he should go away. Even though Kirk Pengilly was my favorite member of INXS, I wasn’t there to hook up with him or anyone else so my friends were not interrupting. 

    The band started doing the soundcheck. Garry Gary Beers was up on stage. He was replacing the strings on his bass. He threw the old strings off the stage, and they sat there on the dance floor. Jess said that she wanted to have those strings. Garry Gary was her favorite band member. She felt it was too embarrassing to go get the strings. I did not care what any of them thought of me, so I got up and walked onto the dance floor; picked up the strings and brought them back to the table. I kept one and gave the others to Jess. From then on, we all made jokes about having Garry’s G-string. 

    One of the memorable events of this soundcheck happened when the other members of the band started scolding Michael, their lead singer. He was not participating in the soundcheck. He was playing around instead. He was refusing to sing. Andrew Farriss said something like, “If you aren’t going to sing then you should have stayed at the hotel.” Others in the band chimed in and said, “yeah, go back to the hotel.” It might have been Tim Farriss and Kirk or maybe all of them. I can’t be sure anymore. 

    This was probably my first impression of Michael Hutchence as a person, and it wasn’t a good one. He was screwing around instead of taking his job seriously- acting like a child instead of an adult. And I got a close-up look at the band’s dynamic; their interactions with each other. I found it interesting. I was definitely on the band’s side. 

    After the soundcheck was finished, we left the building to go grab something to eat. When we came back to The Chance, the people working there would not let us back into the building. We had to wait outside until they opened the doors again for the show. The rest of the story will follow in the next post.

  • Blog Post Two- INXS concert, The Ritz. May 21, 1983, NYC.

    Donna and her friends outside a concert venue in New Jersey before an INXS concert

    The photo is of me and my friends before an INXS concert in 1984. I want to introduce the people in it. Jess is not in the photo because she was taking it. I met Jess through Terri. Terri is third from the left, wearing the purple shirt. Terri and I met in the seventh grade when I moved to Hillsdale, New Jersey. Jess, Terri and I met a few years later because of a mutual interest in soccer and the New York Cosmos. Jess lived in Wayne, New Jersey.

    Jess, Susan (fourth from the left, between Terri and me), and Dana (far right, wearing the Relax t-shirt) can be seen in the Wham documentary that is on Netflix. add link? They are in the footage from an autograph signing at Sam Goody at the Willowbrook Mall in New Jersey. I was at school in Philadelphia, so I wasn’t there.

    @luindriel

    When you show up in the Wham documentary on @Netflix ! #wham #whamdocumentary #80smusic

    ♬ original sound – Susan

    Maria, first on the left in the photo, was a fan of Kirk Pengilly, same as me. We met her at an INXS concert earlier in 1984. I think we also met Susan at a different INXS concert or maybe she was a friend of Dana’s. I don’t remember. Dana had some kind of INXS fan club going. I think it was called INXS Alliance. We either met her because of that or at an INXS concert. Jess, Terri, and Dana all saw INXS open for Adam Ant at St. John’s University in April of 1983 and met members of the band but I don’t think they met each other.

    Jen, second from the right, lived in Tampa, Florida which is where Terri went to college. Jen also had an interest in soccer and music. I don’t know how Terri and Jen met. It’s possible that they were pen pals long before Terri went to Florida. 

    What I remember most about the day Terri, Jess and I went to the Ritz to see INXS in concert was how tired and uncomfortable I was. We didn’t just go there for the show. We went early (around 3pm) and waited on the steps in front of the Ritz for the band to show up for soundcheck.

    My mother’s future second husband owned the Ho-Ho-Kus Bakery and he gave me a job there during the summer between high school and my freshman year of college. Now I had just come back home from finishing freshman year of college and I worked at the bakery that morning from 6am until 1pm. 

    Ad from Waldwick High School yearbook from 1984 for HoHoKus Bakery in New Jersey.

    We were eating while sitting on the steps when INXS showed up for soundcheck. Tim Farriss, the guitarist, said, “Are you having a picnic?” I was wearing a sleeveless shirt with a blue diamond pattern and long pants. Jon Farriss, the drummer, looked me up and down when he passed me and he said, “Hi!” I said, “Hi!” back. I didn’t mind because I thought Jon Farriss was the best-looking and sexiest guy in the band. But we weren’t there for that. Nothing else happened as far as I can remember. 

    The band left and we still had hours to wait. I had to pee, so we pleaded with the doorman to let us in to use the bathroom. When I got in there I couldn’t go. Either my bladder was shy, or I was holding it too long. I couldn’t stay in there for long so I went back outside and had to wait a few more hours before I could try again. It was not fun. I thought I damaged something in my body. 

    We were first in line so when the doors opened, we took spots up against the stage. We still had to wait for a while. I was able to use the bathroom successfully. What a relief! We met another girl named Donna- Donna B while we were waiting for the show to start. We went to future shows with her too and she is also part of my story.

    First the opening act, New Models, took the stage. I was so tired that I put my head down on the stage while they were playing. I was oblivious until Terri tapped my arm and told me to get up. I looked up to find the lead singer jumping up and down two inches from my head. I think he was trying to wake me up. 

    INXS came on and I listened and watched- no sleeping. They were good. I liked them. A couple of times when Michael Hutchence, the lead singer, was in front of me, I touched the top of his shoe with my index finger. No screaming, nothing crazy, just a tap with my finger.

    Later on during the show, Michael drank some water from a glass Tropicana orange juice bottle and then handed it to me. I was thirsty so I drank some water and then passed the bottle to Terri. She drank and then passed the bottle to Jess and she drank. They passed the bottle back to me and I drank the rest of the water and then kept the bottle as a souvenir. I threw the bottle away a few years later.

    We hung around near the stage after the show and the band came out onto the floor. I don’t remember anything about that except that Kirk Pengilly (guitar, vocals, saxophone) was standing around and I took a close look at the back of his head. He had very short hair in back and there were zig zag designs cut into his hair there. He turned around and said, “Hi!” I said hi and told him that I liked his haircut. He said, “thanks.” 

    I have no idea what time it was exactly, but I would have been awake for close to 24 hours at that point. I don’t know how long it took me to write anything down from this night. If I was really busy, I would just jot down notes and not write out the whole story until later. I was probably too tired to remember much. Maybe Terri or Jess talked to some of them. I don’t remember. We made it back to New Jersey without incident. I don’t remember who drove. I just know it wasn’t me because I didn’t have a car. I could use my mother’s car to drive to work but that’s it. Terri had her own car- a little Datsun, back when those existed!

  • Blog Post One- How Did This Happen?

    The first thing I want to do with this blog is to tell my story about what happened with the Australian rock band INXS (pronounced in excess). These experiences are the basis for many subjects I want to write about. 

    I didn’t talk about it for many years for reasons that I now think are wrong. Women are silent because they are shamed, disbelieved, attacked, and because they are taught to protect men. I want this to change.

    Jackie with Jon Farris of INXS in 1983

    I may never have talked about it if it weren’t for my friend, Jackie Fuhrmann, and the COVID-19 pandemic. Jackie died unexpectedly in September 2023. She was two years younger than me. She was an INXS fan. Her favorite band member was Jon Farriss, the drummer.

    Jackie lived in Chicago. She was born and raised there. I was from New Jersey. I met her through my local New Jersey friends, Terri and Jessica. Jackie came out to New Jersey to visit and sometimes my friends went to the Midwest to visit her. I never did. I still have never visited Chicago. Jackie loved soccer and music. She first saw INXS in concert in 1983 in Chicago. She visited us in New Jersey in the summer of 1984 and saw several INXS concerts. Jackie was one of my three friends who Michael Hutchence, the lead singer of INXS, invited up to his hotel room on July 2/3, 1984. Terri and Jessica were the other two. More about that in a future post.

    Facebook allowed us to reconnect after we had lost touch with each other. Jackie followed some INXS fan pages. She became Facebook friends with many of the other fans in those Facebook groups. She enjoyed remembering the fun times.

    In 2018, Jackie started tagging me in posts that were about INXS and in September 2019, I joined one of the INXS fan groups on Facebook that she was in. 

    I had stopped paying attention to the latest news about INXS and I rarely talked about them. Sometimes I would mention that I went to 22 INXS concerts if I needed to say something about myself during an ice breaker at a social event- a common practice at military spouse events where people often don’t know each other because we move so often. Sometimes I would mention that I had met the band, but I never told the whole story. I was embarrassed about the things we did, and I didn’t like to talk about it. I didn’t want to be thought of as a groupie because that was not true. Groupie has a sexual aspect to it as opposed to being a fan. And it is sexist because it is a word that describes women and is meant to denigrate them. 

    I started to read the posts from this INXS Facebook group that showed up in my feed. I still remembered a lot from my life in the 1980s and many of the posts jogged my memory. For example, I had forgotten that Bruce Patron existed until I watched a video from 1986. He was in it, and I recognized him immediately. Bruce Patron was the tour manager for INXS during their Listen Like Thieves tour. I started to comment on the posts with details I remembered.

    Then the COVID-19 pandemic happened. I was living in Honolulu, Hawaii and almost all social activity came to a halt in March 2020. That left me with a lot of free time. I started to read my diary with the intention of sharing my stories about INXS with the INXS Facebook group I was in. I started out by posting stories about what happened in 1983 in April 2020. At first it was fun but then it became disturbing because I noticed things I had not noticed before and it brought back memories from a difficult time in my life. 

    https://www.facebook.com/mystifymh

    Richard Lowenstein made a documentary about Michael Hutchence called Mystify: Michael Hutchence. It was released in the U.S. in January 2020, but I didn’t watch it until after I finished reading my diary, so not until May 2020. As I told my friend, Jessica, it brought up a lot of shit for me. Questions that I have been trying to answer ever since. 

    I have been trying to establish what is fact and what is fiction. Obviously, I don’t doubt my own experiences. I was there. It happened to me. But because other people do doubt me, I am turning to every source I can find to establish what happened and when. As they say, the devil is in the details, and I plan to turn the vague recollections of people who were there into a clear picture.

    Right now, I am reading a biography by Vincent Lovegrove called Michael Hutchence: A Tragic Rock ‘N’ Roll Story- A Definitive Biography. I think it is out of print. It came out in 1999 and it made Patricia and Tina angry. They say so in their book. I plan to read as many books as I can find so I can gather information and find different versions of events and then determine what is most likely to be true. I will tell you about all the books and videos I come across.