Where I left off
On the very early morning of July 3, 1984, I had just left Michael Hutchence’s hotel room after he reiterated that he wanted to have sex with me while outside Jess was yelling, “What about Kirk?”. Terri drove us back to New Jersey and I went to my waitressing job as scheduled after a couple of hours of sleep.
Jackie, Jess, and Terri slept for a few hours before getting back in the car and returning to Long Island. If they left around 1pm they could make it there before soundcheck. Even though I wasn’t there, I was told about their adventure afterwards. But I don’t remember, and I only wrote down a couple of details. Did they leave later so they could sleep longer and then miss the soundcheck? Don’t know.
INXS would have left at 2pm or 3pm to take their tour bus to the Jag Club if they planned to do a soundcheck. The Jag Club was in East Hampton, Long Island which is out on the eastern end of Long Island, 100 miles from New York City.
The Jag Club
Articles about the building that used to be the Jag Club
https://www.easthamptonstar.com/government/2023323/its-nightclub-days-may-be-over
https://www.easthamptonstar.com/east-magazine/2023716/last-dance
The Jag Club did not impress my friends. Terri told me it was a dump. They wouldn’t let Jackie in. Gary Grant snuck her into the club so she could see the show.
Why didn’t Kirk come to the bar in Rockville Centre?
Kirk talked to my friends. I don’t know if he approached them to explain why he never showed up in the bar the night before like he said he would or if they approached him. In any case, he told them that he didn’t come to the bar because he had gotten sick. Food poisoning or something. Or maybe that was just an excuse because he was with Karen, and he didn’t want to come down. It’s possible I would have asked him if Karen was his girlfriend back in September 1983 or questioned him about what his intentions were towards me back then.
But really, there was nothing for Kirk and me to talk about. It’s not like I would have been interested in arranging to see him at some other time when his girlfriend was not around. Being some Australian jerk’s side piece was of no interest to me. Not that he would even propose that- I have no idea what that conversation would have been like if he had come down to meet us. If he had come down, I think we would have left afterwards and the mess with Michael would have been avoided but who knows?
When Kirk saw my friends in East Hampton, he asked, “Where’s Donna?” They told him that I was at work, and he told them to tell me that he said “Hi!” I wonder about that now. Was it his way of saying, “What about Kirk?”
Did Michael talk on the tour bus?
Because Michael didn’t convince me to stay with him and therefore, I was not on the tour bus with INXS when they drove to East Hampton, I assumed that no one would hear about what happened. That Michael would not say anything about what happened. But, in doing my research, I have discovered that Michael was quite a blabbermouth, and my assumption could be wrong.
I had already been acting like nothing ever happened between me and Kirk Pengilly because I was going to be cool and protect him from his girlfriend finding out. If I had a time machine and I could go back there, I would do that again even though no man deserves to be protected that way. But only because Kirk and Karen eventually had a daughter named April and I wouldn’t want to prevent her from existing.
Now I was about to pretend that nothing happened between me and Michael when I was around INXS. I walked out of his hotel room with a permanent case of mixed feelings and conflicted about what I should do.
Why so negative about Michael Hutchence?
Many people have complained to me that I only have negative things to say about Michael. Well, that’s because there are a lot of negative things to say about Michael but also, if I really had thought highly of him, things would have turned out differently and I think people would have heard of me because I would have gotten involved with him. The negativity is an essential part of the story.
Before July 2, 1984, my situation was disappointing but fine. I liked Kirk a lot but when he wrote me a letter it was merely friendly, and he didn’t give me any way to write back to him. I would have liked to correspond and maybe have a relationship that way. Then there was the article that Terri’s Australian pen pal sent that said he had a girlfriend. And then INXS came back to the NYC area and Kirk’s girlfriend came too. The “next time” that Kirk had suggested back in 1983 was not going to happen.
After July 2, 1984, my situation was complicated and absurd. I was still a virgin who had never had a boyfriend, but I managed to get entangled in a love triangle of sorts with two members of my favorite band. One of whom, Michael, has often been described as enigmatic and he left me confused. What happened with Michael also messed up any chance that I could be with Kirk Pengilly in the future. Sometime when I would be older and more experienced and maybe he would be single.
Bullshit narratives
No Filter podcast with Mia Freedman- The Four Women in Michael Hutchence’s Life. An interview with Richard Lowenstein
There is a part of this podcast around the 11-minute mark that mentions that Michael was like a serial monogamist and that he wrote letters to Michele Bennett, his girlfriend from 1982-1987, apologizing for some occasion when he slipped up and had sex with someone else.
Richard Lowenstein doesn’t say when those letters were written or how many there were. I think those letters were written because Michael knew word was going to get back to Michele about what he did, and he was trying to get ahead of it to make himself look better.
The idea that Michael was trying hard to be faithful to Michele and then would slip up from time to time after a long dry spell on the road is a giant load of crap. One of the reasons I am writing this blog is to push back against the bullshit narratives that people like Richard Lowenstein are trying to sell.
Michael’s behavior: it seemed insane
Michael found a steady companion in Belinda Carlisle only a couple of days after they met. Now maybe he had been a bit lonely between the time INXS left Sydney and Michael left his girlfriend, Michele, for Tokyo at the beginning of May 1984. INXS toured through Europe and spent some time in London working on videos after that. It was a whole six weeks of being away before Michael met Belinda on June 22, 1984.
But when he came after me, he had only just left Belinda behind that day, July 2, 1984, and they were reunited again on July 5, 1984, in Milwaukee. I always thought he was bonkers over me so maybe that explains why he acted so desperate. Or maybe he had serious problems with being alone in his bed for even one night. Whatever it was, it seemed insane.
My experience with Michael showed me a lot about him and I have spent a lot of time now finding out about other people’s experiences to help work out the puzzle.
Many people have said that Michael was “in love with love” and that he did not like to be alone. He seemed to have an especially hard time being alone in hotel rooms while on tour.
I think he did what he did and said what he said because he had experience manipulating young women into situations that would get him what he needed. I didn’t fall for Michael because he was a great person and the kind of guy I was looking for because he was not. I fell for him because he pushed me. He knew what to do. If he fell for me, it was partly because I was awesome and partly because he had some psychological issues that caused him to be “in love with love.”
What Belinda Carlisle said
In Belinda Carlisle’s book, she wrote that she and Michael were attracted to each other from the moment they met. So, that’s different from what happened between me and Michael. My attraction only happened after the staring and the kissing and that was instigated by Michael.
His attraction to me could have started the first time he saw me in May 1983. It was only later, when reading my diary in 2020, that I noticed that Michael picked me to interact with out of all the women and girls in the audience during both shows I went to in 1983.
Belinda wrote that Michael was not a good person to be serious about and she only chose to have sex with him after she was sure she could protect her heart.
She wrote that he told her he had a serious girlfriend and that he also had a lot of “friends”- other women in his life with whom he had sex. It sounds like he told her this before they started having sex two days into the tour, but I can’t be sure.
I don’t know if Belinda found out about Michael’s “friends” before he got her into bed or before he tried to get me into bed. But if she didn’t already know, she was about to find out about Michael’s “friends.”
SPOILER ALERT- the friend was not me.